I didn't want to post till I could do it without crying. Something shifted in my brain last night and I'm like... I'm not okay. I am so very not okay. But I've managed to put most of it over to one side where it's not going to keep making me cry. At least today.

I am going to ask you not to try and be nice to me in the comments, but I'd be grateful for ...ordinary conversationy type remarks, if you can find any.
cut for drivel, navelgazing and suicidal ideation )
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That would be either [livejournal.com profile] adjectivemarcus or [livejournal.com profile] watervole, both of whom I knew in my teens before there even WAS Livejournal; pretty much before there was an internet, come to that.

We don't talk that much any more, though I watch what you're doing with interest all the same. But both of you have been a huge influence on me and my life of the mind. Both of you have some wonderful memories attached to you, and you're both still to some extent the person I'd want to be when I grow up. Love you!

I give a shoutout to [livejournal.com profile] peladon as well, although he came in later than the other two chronologically - but not by much, and because everything else I said applies to him too, in spades. LOVE YOU.
lizblackdog: (It's that man again)
( Jan. 11th, 2009 02:44 pm)
My RP character is currently engaged in a petty screaming match with the girl he loves, and I am having more difficulty than I should stopping myself including the phrase "frigid, flat-butted Peacekeeper skank".

...seek medical help, or watch Crackers Don't Matter again for inspiration? HMMM.
lizblackdog: (It's that man again)
( Jan. 11th, 2009 02:44 pm)
My RP character is currently engaged in a petty screaming match with the girl he loves, and I am having more difficulty than I should stopping myself including the phrase "frigid, flat-butted Peacekeeper skank".

...seek medical help, or watch Crackers Don't Matter again for inspiration? HMMM.
Open letter to an RP character )
Open letter to an RP character )
Listening to Thud! last night/this morning, and woke up realising that one of my RP characters is so very nearly (pre-Sybil) Sam Vimes that it's - totally not funny.

She doesn't much resemble him either physically (except for a certain, er, stonefacedness) or professionally; in fact she runs a pub (though she doesn't drink either). I think the differences are sufficient that I can avoid feeling like a plagiarist, and the other player isn't familiar with Pratchett's writing yet, though I've recommended it. Still, it's unsettling to have done that without realising it. Right down to the bloody cigars.
Tags:
Listening to Thud! last night/this morning, and woke up realising that one of my RP characters is so very nearly (pre-Sybil) Sam Vimes that it's - totally not funny.

She doesn't much resemble him either physically (except for a certain, er, stonefacedness) or professionally; in fact she runs a pub (though she doesn't drink either). I think the differences are sufficient that I can avoid feeling like a plagiarist, and the other player isn't familiar with Pratchett's writing yet, though I've recommended it. Still, it's unsettling to have done that without realising it. Right down to the bloody cigars.
Tags:
[livejournal.com profile] cottonmanifesto says: Tell us about your latest obsession - the one that's kept you away from LJ.

It's simple, and yet very complicated. I've been roleplaying. I'd let myself forget, because it's been twenty years since I really did any, how all-consuming and addictive it gets. And I didn't know, because we didn't have the Interwebs when I were a lass, how much more compelling it can get when it's happening in real time on IM.

I did know how especially good it can be when you're playing with someone really, really good; but to have all those factors together at once? Better than sex, better than crack, almost as good as the first flush of true love, almost as good as flying hawks. It's terribly, terribly easy to let everything that isn't absolutely essential for my and my pets' continued survival just slide out of my mental field of vision.

We had a talk about this on ...was it Thursday or Friday? I forget. But we have resolved to devote rather less time to it; we were both getting a bit unbalanced.

Not stopping, though. It's too damn good for that.
[livejournal.com profile] cottonmanifesto says: Tell us about your latest obsession - the one that's kept you away from LJ.

It's simple, and yet very complicated. I've been roleplaying. I'd let myself forget, because it's been twenty years since I really did any, how all-consuming and addictive it gets. And I didn't know, because we didn't have the Interwebs when I were a lass, how much more compelling it can get when it's happening in real time on IM.

I did know how especially good it can be when you're playing with someone really, really good; but to have all those factors together at once? Better than sex, better than crack, almost as good as the first flush of true love, almost as good as flying hawks. It's terribly, terribly easy to let everything that isn't absolutely essential for my and my pets' continued survival just slide out of my mental field of vision.

We had a talk about this on ...was it Thursday or Friday? I forget. But we have resolved to devote rather less time to it; we were both getting a bit unbalanced.

Not stopping, though. It's too damn good for that.
Calling [livejournal.com profile] peladon, Bill and maybe [livejournal.com profile] watervole too - do you recall the saga of Dorian di Chrysaetos and Jehanne de Valerian?

I still refuse to use her married name. That marriage was annulled, and I was furious when the newsletter referred to her as Jehanne Morgan when they printed our obituaries - ironically, on the same page as our marriage announcement. Damn them, our marriage was the legal one, short as it was... I'd have protested, but for being dead and all.

I'm back in the roleplaying saddle, that's all, and seeing certain parallels. It makes me want to reminisce. I wish to hell I still had the love letters I wrote her. I wish I hadn't destroyed so many brain cells in the intervening years.

Apologies to the 98.9% of the f-list who have no idea what I'm talking about and care less. I'll try not to do it again.
Calling [livejournal.com profile] peladon, Bill and maybe [livejournal.com profile] watervole too - do you recall the saga of Dorian di Chrysaetos and Jehanne de Valerian?

I still refuse to use her married name. That marriage was annulled, and I was furious when the newsletter referred to her as Jehanne Morgan when they printed our obituaries - ironically, on the same page as our marriage announcement. Damn them, our marriage was the legal one, short as it was... I'd have protested, but for being dead and all.

I'm back in the roleplaying saddle, that's all, and seeing certain parallels. It makes me want to reminisce. I wish to hell I still had the love letters I wrote her. I wish I hadn't destroyed so many brain cells in the intervening years.

Apologies to the 98.9% of the f-list who have no idea what I'm talking about and care less. I'll try not to do it again.
Cut for Neopets, extreme obsessive nerditude and roleplaying. )
Cut for Neopets, extreme obsessive nerditude and roleplaying. )
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