I had so much left to do

( cut for memeage )

Still haven't found the poem.

There are a thousand things that need doing, but I've lapsed into siege mentality and can't force myself out of the house. HELP I AM BEING HELD PRISONER...

Am staying offline, mostly. Am not fit company for man nor beast.

I had so much left to do

( cut for memeage )

Still haven't found the poem.

There are a thousand things that need doing, but I've lapsed into siege mentality and can't force myself out of the house. HELP I AM BEING HELD PRISONER...

Am staying offline, mostly. Am not fit company for man nor beast.

All you've got to do today is find peace of mind

...or, Doormat Wars!

My front door is at the end of a corridor full of other people's front doors. One of them (the Argumentative Drunks, who live opposite Mr. Sloppy Friendly Drunk) keep a plastic Astroturf doormat outside their door. It's a pain in the arse - every time I take the dogs outside for a pee Spike, who races, scrabbles and slips on the corridor floor like Wile E. Coyote treading air (don't ask me why a normally highly intelligent dog hasn't grasped that running madly on the spot doesn't get him outdoors any faster), always treads on it and, since it has a smooth, hard plastic back with no traction he always sends it skidding up the hallway. And if I pause to put it back in place Spike gets even more impatient than usual and may bark, which is a thing I try to avoid indoors and especially out in the hallway. But I digress.

Yesterday when I took the dogs out in the morning, the Astroturf doormat was placed neatly outside Mr Smokes-Good-Grass's door, next door to me on the opposite side from Mr and Mrs Argumentative Drunk. It stayed there all day and all night, and it was still there when we went for our morning pee. But we just came back from our early-afternoon constitutional, and it's been pointedly moved back outside the Argumentative Drunks' door.

I'm awaiting the next instalment with bated breath, which goes to show just what a sorry mental state I'm in at the moment...

All you've got to do today is find peace of mind

...or, Doormat Wars!

My front door is at the end of a corridor full of other people's front doors. One of them (the Argumentative Drunks, who live opposite Mr. Sloppy Friendly Drunk) keep a plastic Astroturf doormat outside their door. It's a pain in the arse - every time I take the dogs outside for a pee Spike, who races, scrabbles and slips on the corridor floor like Wile E. Coyote treading air (don't ask me why a normally highly intelligent dog hasn't grasped that running madly on the spot doesn't get him outdoors any faster), always treads on it and, since it has a smooth, hard plastic back with no traction he always sends it skidding up the hallway. And if I pause to put it back in place Spike gets even more impatient than usual and may bark, which is a thing I try to avoid indoors and especially out in the hallway. But I digress.

Yesterday when I took the dogs out in the morning, the Astroturf doormat was placed neatly outside Mr Smokes-Good-Grass's door, next door to me on the opposite side from Mr and Mrs Argumentative Drunk. It stayed there all day and all night, and it was still there when we went for our morning pee. But we just came back from our early-afternoon constitutional, and it's been pointedly moved back outside the Argumentative Drunks' door.

I'm awaiting the next instalment with bated breath, which goes to show just what a sorry mental state I'm in at the moment...