There was a poem I was going to stick in the last entry that I forgot to put in! Here it is:

Warning to Children

Children, if you dare to think
Of the greatness, rareness, muchness
Fewness of this precious only
Endless world in which you say
You live, you think of things like this:
Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
Red and green, enclosing tawny
Yellow nets, enclosing white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where a neat brown paper parcel
Tempts you to untie the string.
In the parcel a small island,
On the island a large tree,
On the tree a husky fruit.
Strip the husk and pare the rind off:
In the kernel you will see
Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
Red and green, enclosed by tawny
Yellow nets, enclosed by white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where the same brown paper parcel -
Children, leave the string alone!
For who dares undo the parcel
Finds himself at once inside it,
On the island, in the fruit,
Blocks of slate about his head,
Finds himself enclosed by dappled
Green and red, enclosed by yellow
Tawny nets, enclosed by black
And white acres of dominoes,
With the same brown paper parcel
Still untied upon his knee.
And, if he then should dare to think
Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
Greatness of this endless only
Precious world in which he says
he lives - he then unties the string.

-- Robert Graves

The bad recurring dreams. These are the two that make me wake up sweating, cold and weeping.

The first is fairly common to people with animals, I've discovered. In the dream, I am going about my life when I suddenly recall another seven hawks or ten or eleven ferrets that I'm keeping in a garage or an aviary somewhere out of the way, and I recall that I haven't fed them or checked on them for weeks. The dreams are always generous with gruesome imagery of creatures starved, filthy and occasionally eating each other because of my negligence.

The other involves my husband. Not everyone on my friends list knows that he died in 1999. Now, I know he's dead. I held him on my lap as the warmth receded from his flesh. I know exactly what death looks and feels like.

In the dream, I learn that he faked his death, that he's been alive all this time. But he hasn't contacted me, and he's left no channel open by which I can tell him I know he's alive. I try and call his family, and they deny all knowledge and hang up on me. His friends have disappeared. Every avenue of communication ends in a blank brick wall. The only one who can communicate is John, but he doesn't want to. I have no idea why.
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


I haven't had the animal one for some years now; at the time it used to plague me I had rather too many ferrets. Not quite animal hoarding but the first steps along a road that could have taken me there. I think now, that's what the dream was warning me about.

From: [identity profile] mcsassypants.livejournal.com


Yeek. I know all about the suddenly remembering that you've forgotten about the animals dreams. I have several regarding the cats and the hedgehog. In my more philisophical moments, i find them useful because once I wake up, I tend to double check them all and make sure that I'm not being lax in their care. If that makes sense...
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


There was a post on spo_prevention (I think) about it once, and half the community members get something similar. I guess it goes along with taking one's responsibilities seriously - and although I'm pathological about keeping my responsibilities to a minimum, I'm equally neurotic about living up to the ones I volunteered for...

From: [identity profile] huntingdon.livejournal.com


I didn't realise it was quite as recent as that.

but I suppose you probably weren't married in '76? :D

From: [identity profile] trippy37.livejournal.com


Well, I have had the "I forgot my child" variation on the theme, as I have no pets (allergic), much to my son's chagrin as he want a cat really bad.

And my mom died in January, and I've had the 'faked' her death dream too, where I saw her in a restaurant with my dad, and I asked her "If you're here, who is in the urn?" It was way too freaky.
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


You might find a sphynx cat or a rex cat easier on the allergies?

If I'd ever had children I'm sure I'd have terrifying nightmares about them every night. That was the main reason I never did: the thought of that much responsibility, a whole other human being, was just way too terrifying. I probably could have handled it, but I'd have given myself several nervous breakdowns in the process.

From: [identity profile] montymark.livejournal.com


I've never had a dream like your animals one, but I can't stand even thinking about the possibility of that happening. I still skip the bit in Stephen King's The Stand where Lloyd Henreid mentions the rabbit he forgot to feed when he was a kid... The mere thought I find horrible, and I can't help imagining what the animals must've felt. Even when it's completely fictional.

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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


I can't stand it in fiction either. I threw away a book by Irvine Welsh once after reading a horrible scene about someone torturing his father's dog to death, and never read anything of his again - which was no great loss IMO.

From: [identity profile] ghost07.livejournal.com


I like the poem.

I had that animal dream...only, it's I can hear them meowing, but I can't find them. I can't remember where they are, and I wake up in a cold sweat checking to see that they're all right.


I didn't realise you had been married. I'm sorry you lost him.

My mother died in 1968, but every week, I get awakened by her voice, calling me...problem is, this isn't the house she died in, so I generally end up hitting a wall on my way to see what she wants. You'd think, after so many years, it would fade away, but it hasn't. She had MS for my whole life, I don't remember a time when I wasn't taking care of her. Now, she won't leave me alone.
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


I tend not to mention it unless it's relevant - I prefer people to see me rather than the things that have happened to me. It'd be very easy to trade on the widowed ex-junkie stuff to get attention, and I'd hate to be that kind of person.

your mother proves that the connections don't weaken over time...
.

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