I hope so. It's stubbornness as much as strength, but hey, it worked so I won't argue.

how it affects others is where I fell down. If I'd really kept that in mind I'd have saved a lot of other people a lot of pain and John might still have been here. In which case he'd have been monopolising the computer and no one here would ever have heard of me, probably.

I kind of have to live well now. I'm all there is left of him.