We ain't down, we ain't down, we ain't down

[lizblackdog]

Mum's yellower than yesterday and swollen with retained fluid, but on the other hand, she seems stronger. Holding her hand a few days ago felt like holding a bundle of dry-rotted ancient twigs - like she might crumble if I squeezed - but today she felt like warm flesh and blood again. But she was so tired.

Finding out the specifics of what's actually going on with her is like playing Chinese Whispers with a team of Vorlons and Tamarians.. The doctor tells her things she doesn't understand, she forgets half of it and mishears the rest, tells me some of what she remembers mixed with some of her own theories, and tells my sister T something different. From what T and I can piece together, she may or may not have a chest infection, a urinary tract infection and an enlarged liver. Naturally, the doctors themselves won't tell anyone anything over the phone, next of kin or not, and are never available during normal visiting hours.

Spike's new harness still hasn't arrived, and I cannot, cannot, cannot walk him to Grimmauld Place (I have to go there daily to feed Maisie) again on the flat collar. Although I had his leash wound under his body to avoid pressure on his throat he was still wheezing by the time we got home, and the fox and three cats that crossed our path didn't help any. I'm going to accost Weed-Smoking Neighbour when he gets home from work and beg him to drive me over there tonight. I'm sure he'll agree if I a. offer to pay him and b. break down in tears. That way I'll only need to be gone for about twenty minutes. It won't be for much longer, anyway. Sister E should be able to come and take Maisie away by the weekend at the very latest, and the harness ought to turn up before then anyway - I ordered the damn thing eight days ago.

Maisie is very depressed, but she's eating and responding to being petted. Sister T went to visit her today and Maisie let herself be petted, which is a first, since she doesn't know T very well. T was so stricken at Maisie's unhappiness she phoned to ask me if she should take her home, but moving to two new places in the space of a week is only going to stress her more than she is already. It's bloody hard to walk out of the door and leave her, though.

And, for the icing on the cake, I'm coming down with a cold. Woke up this morning with a scratchy throat and a raw heaviness in the sinuses. I'm not sure if I even ought to be going near Mum with a cold, but there's no other family that can visit her at all (although there are plenty of her friends). I asked T for her opinion and she tried to convince me it was hay fever. Considering I've never had hay fever or any allergies before (I'm the only non-allergic non-asthmatic in a family of multi-allergy sufferers) I feel that's wishful thinking on her part. I don't know what to do.

I know I have at least two nurses on my f-list - if you read this, do you think I should avoid the hospital till the cold passes or not? I don't want to not see my mother, but I don't want to be a disease vector around already-sick people either.

The good news: It's cooler today.

Comments

[angriestangel.livejournal.com]

Aren't you able to make an appointment with the treating physician? Or at least get some info from the nurses? We had the same with my grandma and we were able to make an appointment, so that at least we heard the complete story without the fiction parts.

*hugs* in any case I hope things improve soon, but her being stronger should be a good thing.

[kiss-kass.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, you're getting sick an awful lot. You might want to start taking some extra vitamin C or something to give your immune system a boost.

Feel better and I hope your mom gets better soon.

[beebarf.livejournal.com]

Can the nurses not give you any info? At the very least you need to know how long she is likely to be there.

Sending relaxing vibes your way!

[il_mio_capitano]

Throw yourself on the mercy of a senior looking nurse. They tend to know what's what.

My thoughts are with you - it's dreadful visiting a parent in hospital not knowing how it's going to turn out. When my dad had his accident it was just too heartbreaking seeing him and leaving him at the end of visiting was worse. He's a big guy - 6’2 and broad shouldered – an absolute rock and yet there he was this frail little old man looking lost and disorientated as to what was going on.

Try to look after yourself as well.

[nyecamden.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[grave-medicine.livejournal.com]

Here goes the round of questions: are you coughing, sniffling or sneezing?

And I agree, find the most senior nurse there and approach her in a calm, rational way. Explain to her the doctors' absence and your mother's muddled condition and ask if you can just be told what you can do to help the situation.

[huntingdon.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Hope you and your mother get better :)

[ex-ramona222.livejournal.com]

Gah, I hope you're all feeling better soon. I'm sure it is an all or nothing proposition, too. Damnably stressful situation.