lizblackdog (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lizblackdog) wrote2008-09-09 12:28 am
lizblackdog) wrote2008-09-09 12:28 am
Entry tags:
The air is growing thin
Fairport Convention - Meet On The Ledge
In 2006, I posted this: everyone who's died that you love takes a piece of you with them. and on some days there's so much of me on the other side that I feel like a ghost myself; weak, thin, insubstantial and clinging stubbornly to a world I no longer have the right to walk in.
Today has been one of those days. I had intended to post on the 15th, to mark my best friend's birthday. But I feel your presence so strongly right now, and you didn't care about birthdays.
Everyone should have a friend like you: one you can trust to the bone, through sickness, fire and water and disaster and joy and everything in between. You showed me and taught me so much; we went through so much together and you always, always had my back. We saved each other every day in little ways and big ones.
I would give anything to have you here now. I miss you so fucking much; and I know if you were alive somewhere and read this, you would be surprised, because you did not love or believe in yourself although John and I loved and believed in you. I wish it had been possible to convince you to. And yet you helped me save myself; I could not have done it without you. I would have given anything to give you the will to save yourself too.
Love you.
In 2006, I posted this: everyone who's died that you love takes a piece of you with them. and on some days there's so much of me on the other side that I feel like a ghost myself; weak, thin, insubstantial and clinging stubbornly to a world I no longer have the right to walk in.
Today has been one of those days. I had intended to post on the 15th, to mark my best friend's birthday. But I feel your presence so strongly right now, and you didn't care about birthdays.
Everyone should have a friend like you: one you can trust to the bone, through sickness, fire and water and disaster and joy and everything in between. You showed me and taught me so much; we went through so much together and you always, always had my back. We saved each other every day in little ways and big ones.
I would give anything to have you here now. I miss you so fucking much; and I know if you were alive somewhere and read this, you would be surprised, because you did not love or believe in yourself although John and I loved and believed in you. I wish it had been possible to convince you to. And yet you helped me save myself; I could not have done it without you. I would have given anything to give you the will to save yourself too.
Love you.