Hello, darkness, my old friend

[lizblackdog]

so I felt almost normal for ...nearly several days before deathtired drowned me again. most of the last couple of months I've had a kind of deathtired at half-mast. It lifts enough for me to do a few things, clean a little, write a little, but never enough to catch up with the fucking backlog and the drop hurts more every time.

The most frustrating thing is not being able to work out what triggers it. Cutting grains out of my diet seemed to help some, or at least stopped me feeling simultaneously starved and nauseous all day. Pushing myself to the (wildly variable) limit of what I can do on any given day sometimes energises me and sometimes knocks me flat for days and I can't seem to find a pattern there either.

meanwhile, my dogs are going crazy with underexercise and I'm suffocating under filth and unkept promises and more important things than my own fucking inner workings I should be worrying about. I think I would sell my soul to make this stop.

Comments

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

*hug*

at least we have happy dogs and the odd good day, hey?

[yesididit.livejournal.com]

i swear the dogs are such a saving and blessing. even when i'm cursing them for stepping on my bladder or shoving a cold wet nose in my ear. i'm learning to be more appreciative of those good days, instead of cursing all the others for NOT being a good day. its not an easy lesson.