lizblackdog (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lizblackdog) wrote2006-01-05 12:06 pm
lizblackdog) wrote2006-01-05 12:06 pm
Entry tags:
The wonder never grows old
Goooood morning LiveJournal!
Just come from the evil corner shop. I know, technically, that Asda are far more evil, but the corner shop (which in any case is also part of a big corporation) is a much greater evil influence in my life. The customers are all chavs, someone always turns up with another dog (usually a Staffie) while my lads are tied outside and I'm stuck in the queue for the cash till, and, worst of all, they not only sell no real food whatsoever, they also continually perpetrate buy-one-get-one-free offers on things I really don't need to be eating more of, likedelicious evil fat-laden pastry slices, mini chocolate rolls and (today's special) Cadbury's Creme Eggs. I know I could buy just as much unhealthy fatty food at Asda, but at least they also stock alternatives and I can buy my dogfood there too.
The icing on the corner shop cake today? Some lackwit bottom feeding chavscum wankmonkey had left a pile of dog crap on the ground right outside the doorway. Some poor bastard had already trodden in it. I caught myself ranting about it to the poor lady behind the counter, the man with the Jack Russell that my dogs barked at (until I asked them to stop - YAYYY DOGS! We still haven't mastered not barking at strange dogs in the first place, but at least I can get them to stop) and a random lady who stopped to admire the boys. I ought to watch that. I'm already more than halfway to being the Mad Dog Lady - I'm not sure being Mad Ranting Dogshit Lady is going to win me friends and influence people.
Although if some of them start picking up after their dogs for fear of being unseamed from the nave to the chops when I catch them at it, perhaps it'd be worth it...
Enough, already. I was cheered up on the way home by a glorious aerial dogfight over my head - a carrion crow and two of the bigger gulls (I'm not sure what they are - I'm guessing either herring gulls or lesser black-backs) were trying to pirate a chicken bone from a black-headed gull. The bigger birds are faster and more intimidating, but black-headed gulls a. don't scare easily and b. are as agile as fuck. It reminded me of Spike stealing Squish's ball and Squish chasing him to get it back - Squish is much, much faster than Spike, but since Spike can go to full speed from a standing start, stop dead in his tracks at full speed and twist, dodge and change direction without noticeably slowing down, Squish can never, ever catch him. The black-headed gull pulled a Crazy Ivan on them and flew off with its bone while the other three birds were still wondering where the hell it had gone.
And I won't have to beg for car rides or put myself through gruelling bus journeys to buy dog food or put up with the Evil Corner Shop any more, because Sainsbury's is reopening today! Ding dong, the witch is dead! I am going to go down there tonight and lick the cash tills and dry-hump the store manager.
Or I might just buy some frozen chicken parts and something nice for my supper with an air of quiet jubilation. We'll see.
Just come from the evil corner shop. I know, technically, that Asda are far more evil, but the corner shop (which in any case is also part of a big corporation) is a much greater evil influence in my life. The customers are all chavs, someone always turns up with another dog (usually a Staffie) while my lads are tied outside and I'm stuck in the queue for the cash till, and, worst of all, they not only sell no real food whatsoever, they also continually perpetrate buy-one-get-one-free offers on things I really don't need to be eating more of, like
The icing on the corner shop cake today? Some lackwit bottom feeding chavscum wankmonkey had left a pile of dog crap on the ground right outside the doorway. Some poor bastard had already trodden in it. I caught myself ranting about it to the poor lady behind the counter, the man with the Jack Russell that my dogs barked at (until I asked them to stop - YAYYY DOGS! We still haven't mastered not barking at strange dogs in the first place, but at least I can get them to stop) and a random lady who stopped to admire the boys. I ought to watch that. I'm already more than halfway to being the Mad Dog Lady - I'm not sure being Mad Ranting Dogshit Lady is going to win me friends and influence people.
Although if some of them start picking up after their dogs for fear of being unseamed from the nave to the chops when I catch them at it, perhaps it'd be worth it...
Enough, already. I was cheered up on the way home by a glorious aerial dogfight over my head - a carrion crow and two of the bigger gulls (I'm not sure what they are - I'm guessing either herring gulls or lesser black-backs) were trying to pirate a chicken bone from a black-headed gull. The bigger birds are faster and more intimidating, but black-headed gulls a. don't scare easily and b. are as agile as fuck. It reminded me of Spike stealing Squish's ball and Squish chasing him to get it back - Squish is much, much faster than Spike, but since Spike can go to full speed from a standing start, stop dead in his tracks at full speed and twist, dodge and change direction without noticeably slowing down, Squish can never, ever catch him. The black-headed gull pulled a Crazy Ivan on them and flew off with its bone while the other three birds were still wondering where the hell it had gone.
And I won't have to beg for car rides or put myself through gruelling bus journeys to buy dog food or put up with the Evil Corner Shop any more, because Sainsbury's is reopening today! Ding dong, the witch is dead! I am going to go down there tonight and lick the cash tills and dry-hump the store manager.
Or I might just buy some frozen chicken parts and something nice for my supper with an air of quiet jubilation. We'll see.
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I've been feeling uninspired, but the writing mood seems to have caught fire again. I really enjoyed writing that.
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I like mad dog women especially the kind that yell about turds!
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Regretfully, I've only once actually managed to catch the turd-bandits in the act of not picking up after their dog. That was a glorious, glorious moment. I relive it in my dreams...
Your dog icons are so much better than mine. I'm going to play with Paintshop Pro today and practise putting words on some of them. This one with Squish's intensely dumb expression is crying out to read "I can kill you with my brain!"
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Making icons is fun!
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Gods, I really am obsessed. I scare myself sometimes... still, it's saner than a lot of things people rant about, I suppose.
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Hmm, not sure yellow's the right colour for the text at the bottom. Might try it in red.
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I did one in orange to see if that would be more legible, but I think yellow/outlined is the way to go.
Squish always reminds me of River, except for the not actually being a genius part. He does have that idiot-savant batshit insane big puppy eyes thing going on...
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I made another icon, look!
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Two by two, hands of blue?
Kid was wearing blue gloves. Squish wouldn't go near him till he took them off.
Do I spend too much time watching TV with my dogs or what?
Re: Two by two, hands of blue?
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52p at the Coop.
maple & pecan plait!!!
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The mind reels.
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Last time I was in England, they talked about "Hoodies" all of the time.
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LOVE the slang & culture references!
And that should be "BARKING Mad Ranting Dogshit Lady"