lizblackdog | Is this all a game? Was this all a ruse?

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Is this all a game? Was this all a ruse?

Holy fucking shit these fucking kittens are going to be the fucking DEATH of me.

I have just spent an HOUR AND A FUCKING HALF searching my flat for an orange and white kitten.

Spike couldn't find her (but I had him searching the wrong room so not his fault. He tried.) Cassie's too busy yowling for sex to care. I searched the cupboards. I searched the fridge. I turned the dog couch upside down in case she'd managed to crawl up into the springs. I was starting to think about prying the side panel off the bathtub. I even looked out-fucking-side, and she'd have to walk through walls to get there.

I'd reached the point of praying out loud with TEARS running down my face when she casually strolled up behind me in the bedroom, yawning and obviously just having woken up from a nice long sleep while I'd been imploding and the other three had been crackmonkeying around the flat.

I still don't know where the fuck she was.

I need a fucking drink now.

...and am now praying out loud with gratitude, for the record.

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She was probably too busy laughing her little cat rear off watching everyone panic to come out and say hi ;)

Someone needs to tell her if she kills me there'll be NO MORE FOOD, damn it.

I can't ttake another one like that!

Just so you know, they never stop doing that. Cassie will do it to you at some point. It's their way of seriously screwing with yourhead.

*whimper*

Spike the Catfinder General can normally prevent this sort of thing, but I didn't let him into the bedroom this time, and also when there are five cats how the hell is he meant to know which is the one I can't see? They're all equally obvious to him.

But I doubt Cassie will get away with it when she's on her own.

NEVER underestimate the deviousness of a cat. Cassie will rope Spike the Catfinder General into the game. They plot while you are sleeping.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

yeah, he's evil enough for that. ARGH!!

Animals always stick together. Rotten little buggers.

I will say, he never let Mum's Maisie get away with it, and she tried often. The only time I ever couldn't find her was when I went there without him.

But he does have a dodgy sense of humour at times and he does love her more than me...

Don't underestimate the power of cat.

I used to laugh at my friend Al's cat Mama and dogs Lady and Jake.

You would be sitting in the kitchen, sipping on some coffee, and Lady would saunter up and stand by the back door until you opened it. When you opened it, Mama would scoot outside, and Lady would go back to whatever she had been doing before.

What was even more freaky is that they would repeat this process when Mama wanted to come back inside, with Lady on the INSIDE of the house the whole time.

When Jake came along, he took over the doordog duties.

Yes.

Nuku used to constantly disappear. I never did figure out where all her hiding spots were, but she'd come wandering out a few hours after I had decided she was clearly dead or she got out or or or or, and would be perfectly fine.

Cats are obnoxious that way.

I knew it was a thing cats did - Maisie used to do it to Mum regularly before we got Spike and after Spike and I moved out - but hell, I live in four rooms total and they're mostly not full of clutter. I just couldn't see where the hell a cat would FIT that I hadn't already searched. Even a small one.

it's some sort of dimensional shift, I'm guessing. She fell asleep and forgot to phase back into our plane of existence.

it's some sort of dimensional shift - she went to apply for a job as a kitling-scout on the new planet of the cheetah people ;)

If her performance here was any indication, she'll make a brilliant scout! Little monster.

I'm with Kass. They are truly wicked that way.

When I had the kittens, those two would scare the living hell out of me. Once, they disappeared for almost two DAYS. I unhinged the bed (where my German Shapherd liked to keep them) and turned it all apart, I tore apart every drawer, every cabinet, &c. --You know what I mean. Mind you, I was in a large studio. There were no other rooms.

Little shits were in the corner recess behind the claw tub--or at least that's where I finally found them--happy as clams playing with spiders. Pounce! Pounce! Pounce! Out they came and looked at me as if to say, "Okay, we're done with that. What's for dinner?"

I totally feel for you.

Two days.

0_o

*screams*

that really really would have killed me.

A truth I have learned:

Cats understand that they are scary little evil creatures, they know they can upset you and they understand how you feel.

They just don't give a fuck.

NO wait. That was my ex-husband.

Sorry.

;-)

*giggles*

It's dreadful, though, because even though I know it's a cat thing that they all do, I still couldn't very well not worry. It was awful.

Evil little orange horror, she is.

When Chalupa first came to live with my parents and I was 16, Penny disapeared somewhere in my parent's house and I had no fucking clue where she was. It was...distressing. Cats are evil like that.

They really are unspeakably evil. And I already knew Elda was the evillest of the four with the cute little face.

I'm going to go to bed and eat ice cream now. Phew.

My cats just love doing that to me...When Cuddles was alive, I lost her for over a day...I searched everywhere! then she slid out from under the dresser...which I was sure was too small a hole for her to fit into.

I saw, on Funniest Home Videos, this cat who squirmed under the bathroom door...there wasn't enough room under there for a mouse, and he slid right under it with no problems at all.

I STILL haven't found all of Julius' and Giddy's hidey holes.

Wonder what they'll do to me in the new place?

Ahhh, yes. The disappear-for-awhile-and-freak-out-the-humans thing. Cat staple.

Then there's the time I came home from somewhere or other to meet Piper just sitting on the porch, waiting for me.

Piper is an indoor cat.

*LOL* Sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but that just sounds so much like my cat. He is a total indoor cat (Our choice not his I assure). He is always trying to sneak out, so mass panic erupts when he does disappear and he is less than inclined to re-appear when called.

One time, while we had a house sitter, he pulled this stunt. The house sitter looked and looked and looked. The cat eventually surfaced from under a blanket, in the CLOSED wardrobe....he'd opened the door, got in, the door had shut and there he stayed until he was ready and then he pushed open the door and came out.

But, but, you used to have ferrets, you should be used to this kind of thing!

Having the kittens around is very like having a houseful of ferrets again - in fact, I had a dream a few nights ago in which the kittens were actually ferrets (ferrets look amazing in calico and tabby!) but I never had a ferret with the patience and attention span to hide for more than a couple of minutes. They're just - less evil than cats somehow. Or something.

That's funny, about a week ago I had a dream that I bought, for $40 (hah!) a calico ferret--that was mackerel tabby on the orange parts and classic blotched tabby on the brown/grey parts. Gorgeous thing, I should draw a picture. Many years ago I dreamed I had a litter of blue tabby ferrets. Oooo, want one of those....

yes, draw a picture!!

they'd look so lovely in stripes...

LOL Poor Liz! *hugs* I know exactly how you feel. I regularly spend hours and hours looking for one of my pet rats. Once I took even my bed apart to see if the rattie sat under it. When at 2:30 am I crawled out from under my book case, covered in dust and with a spider web floating from my ear, I found a rat sitting in my chair, watching me with great interest (and I daresay a considerable amount of amusement, too).
In such moments I wish I had goldfish instead of rats!

Beats the time Buddy dissapeared in to the ceiling for like 4 days

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