It's the same room but everything's different

[lizblackdog]

The daffodils are out, the squirrels have arrived in force, the foxes are fucking and the other morning I was nearly hit in the head by one of two wrens, so busy fighting over tree rights that they never saw me at all. The grass has taken on a shine as new shoots start insinuating themselves among the old crap that's been there all winter, and Squish dog wants to eat it all. It's officially spring here.

One should never go shopping when hungry, yet it's often the only time I'm motivated enough to bother. So I end up buying way more than I can easily carry home, not to mention more strawberry and white chocolate muffins than any sensible person ought to need. Also discovered Italian ground coffee in 1lb packs for 50p each, which is insane, so I had four packs as well as the muffins and the dogs' chicken parts and pork ribs.

Our Asda has automatic self-checkout scanners, but I refuse to use them. They issue orders at you and catalogue your shopping in a synthesised voice. When it says "Two point four kilos of baking potatoes" I can't stop my brain hearing "Exterminate!" and frankly, it freaks me the fuck out. So I joined the queue on the only human-operated till, despite the woman in front of me who was either recruiting an army or feeding a family of teenagers. We got talking about the bargain coffee and the strawberry muffins and she ended by offering me a ride home, which goes to show you should always follow your instincts in the matter of shopping queues. She won't read this and I thanked her a lot at the time, but I'll thank her here again: Blonde lady with the SUV and the teenagers, you made my night.

My mother's friend Ossie died unexpectedly this week. He used to work the checkout at Asda as well - sweet guy, but utterly incapable of working a checkout and a conversation at the same time. He made shopping with my mother wryly entertaining, as I'd stand there listening to the two of them gossiping for what felt like hours while the queue behind us grew steadily longer and grumpier as their frozen food melted, unmoving. You have to admire someone who attains that level of cheerful, oblivious unhurriability even when it irritates the fuck out of you.

This rambling, mostly pointless post is dedicated to his memory.

Comments

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

hooray for spring even though i know you are cringing.

and i would buy like ALLLLLLL of that coffee. that's practically free!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

The ONLY reason I stopped at four was that I assumed I'd be walking home carrying it, as well as the dogs' 10lbs or so of meat and the other shit I'd bought.

I'm considering walking back today and grabbing the rest.

[papilio-luna.livejournal.com]

Our self-checkouts do not sound like Daleks, fortunately. It's a friendly lady's voice (an actual lady, not a Dalek lady). She says things like "Move your...MUFFINS!...to the belt."

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

I think they'd creep me out even more if they tried to sound friendly! This is what a lifetime of science fiction does to you - automated systems are either going to develop their own intelligence and start killing people, or be taken over by a villain and start killing people. You're not getting me up in one of those things.

[mudshark58.livejournal.com]

Liking the 'Never Mind the Daleks' icon. :D

Wouldn't mind finding 50-p pounds of Italian coffee, either; I'd take all I could carry. Just you watch.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was buying too much other stuff to carry more than four. i'm thinking of going back tonight though.

[madshutterbug.livejournal.com]

Crowded House!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Heh. In fact, I was cycling through the Crowded House section of my playlist while I wrote this, and different lines from different songs kept suggesting themselves as the right post title. It was very nearly "Here Comes Mrs Hairy Legs", but I decided to save that for some future post.

I've loved the Brothers Finn dearly ever since Split Enz.

[mudshark58.livejournal.com]

I still think Split Enz' Waiata (Corroboree in Oz) is one of the more perfect pop albums of all time.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

I admit I don't have it as an entire album, though I have a lot of the tracks from it in mp3 format. Thank you for drawing my attention to this deficiency in my music hoard. I shall do something about that very soon.

[mencc1701.livejournal.com]

Well, you can tell you don't live in Canada. *grumbles*

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Still WANT to!

[revolution-grrl.livejournal.com]

Ugh, and here comes the heat!

Oh but it was totally about Ossie, really. Someone in line, someone taking time to be kind, you taking the time to tell the story, and I, at least, took the time to read it. He'd be right chuffed, I expect.

It sounds like he made a happy life on this chaotic ball. It's good to have that to celebrate.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

He did. He was a really, really nice man and a lot of people loved him - so likeable that it was very hard to actually care that he spent more time nattering than doing his job. He really will be missed.

Thanks.

[yesididit.livejournal.com]

"and squish dog wants to eat it all" that sums it up pretty good.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

he drives Spike batshit. Spike wants to GET WHERE WE'RE GOING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and Squish wants to stand there all day making like a cow. And I stand there between the irresistible force and the immovable object with the leashes hurting my wrists. Story of my life.

[yesididit.livejournal.com]

paints a cute picture. walks with puppy are entirely dependent on what he smells or sees. he zig-zags all over hell and back, sometimes pausing so long to investigate or sniff that i'm stopped and have to tell him to come on. but sometimes trying to pull ahead so fast i'm nearly pulled off my feet. you never know what you're going to get with him.

[beautifulworld.livejournal.com]

This post REALLY makes me want muffins, especially given that I have not had a meal since 11.30am and am about to eat my own arm.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Sorry!

Ever tried Asda's strawberry and white chocolate ones? Seriously to DIE for.

[beautifulworld.livejournal.com]

They sound absolutely delicious, I'll have to see if I can hunt some down soon. I love white chocolate.

[randomyst.livejournal.com]

Oh so you're saying I shouldn't make my "angry face" when I'm grocery shopping so that people will leave me the fuck alone? ;-)

I'm sorry your mom's friend died. He sounds like a character.

And YAY for nice lady taking you home.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Depends if you'd rather have random stranger encounters or get your shopping done fast. I often favour the serendipitous option, myself, but then I have more time to play with.

amd yes, Ossie was. the world's a less friendly place without him. thank you.

[the-reader.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4iYigkyVeQ

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

...heh heh heh!