This is no time to start snapping any loud twigs.

[lizblackdog]

So my actual problem is this. I need to fill in a form explaining in detail why I disagree with the Department of Work and Pensions over the results of a recent medical examination. I know pretty much exactly what I want to say, since the DWP were thoughtful enough to include a point-by-point list of all the places where the medical examiner either made up answers to questions he completely neglected to ask me or ticked boxes that directly contradicted what I did tell him.

The trouble I'm having with it is that every time I try to DO it my throat closes up and my heart starts pounding to the point where I have to go and lie down till I can see straight again. Also I appear not to own a functional pen, which I'm aware ought not, for any reasonable person, to be any level of real problem.

I've got through the last few days using my old tried and tested tactic of pretending it's not happening. This never works for long.

Word of the day: Suicidal ideation. It's not in me to kill myself; I know this beyond all doubt. So I find myself not telling people how attractive the idea seems so much of the time, because I don't want to worry them over something I know I'm not going to do.

For anyone who's read this far, yes, I am VERY well aware that half my f-list is coping far better with far worse trouble. I'm just... people keep asking me how I am. People seem to want to know. Well, there it is.

Comments

[bites-the-sun.livejournal.com]

If there's a branch of Welfare Rights where you are, you could try them - I believe they help people with appeals. Apparently they also have a message board where you can seek help: http://www.doonhamer.f2s.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=9&sid=da7cec06ed8c279c9ec4fe87da7532f9

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

...I had no idea that even existed, thank you!

while I'm here, you know that I'm one of those people who never swears at the person on the other end of the phone no matter HOW upset i am, don't you?

i have been known to cry at them, mind you.

[bites-the-sun.livejournal.com]

Hah, of course I don't think you're one of them. Christ though, some of the people we get ... I did 600 calls on Monday, 500 yesterday and 400 today and if only say, 2% of those are raging, vile nutters, it's enough to leave you reeling. Mostly I leave work at work but some days its just impossible not to bring home.

I've had the odd person cry but they're pretty rare. On the boards I work on, the main problems tend to be grumpy old men and on the ministerial one, some really, really nasty bastards and sheer crazies, along with nice people at their wits' end who I do endeavour to help best I can.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Oh, i can imagine, I've seen them yelling at teh poor bastards on the other side of the chair-proof glass every time I've had to go to the social. Fucking hell, even when I was a junkie scamming crisis loans i didn't behvae that way - quite apart from anything else, it's so fucking COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. Antagonise the person you desperately need to sort your urgent financial shit out for you? YEAH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA.

when I read about it i feel embarrassed for being one of the DWP's customers at all. because I KNOW you're not exaggerating.