Wishin' and a-hoping that just once those doors weren't locked

[lizblackdog]

Conversations I'll Never Have (More's The Pity) Number 76398633662 (or thereabouts.)

Good afternoon, Mr Cantankerous Arsey Neighbour With The Bike.

That's a lovely-looking German Shepherd puppy you suddenly have there.

No, that barking Norwegian Ridgeback impression Spike is doing is not dog language for "Oh, let's make friends with the cute puppy!" It's Spike language for "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!".

Yes, I can quite see how you could confuse the two, because I already know you're that stupid.

I know you're that stupid because when I abruptly changed direction (TO AVOID YOU, IDIOT!) and walked Spike back two hundred yards the way we'd come instead of carrying on towards home, you took it into your head to follow us with the damn puppy.

You were at the junction. You could have stood still, or you had a choice of three different directions you could have walked away from us. I had a choice of either walking further and further in the direction I already hadn't wanted to go in, or walking down Barrow Road where the neighbour with the two unsocialised dog-aggressive outdoor Rottweilers (and that's another rant in the making all by itself) was out in his garden making barking noises at them and winding them up. In the end I decided the least annoying/dangerous/noisy option was to head for home and try and get Spike past you as quickly as possible. It was noisy. It wasn't pretty. But at least it was over fairly quickly.

Don't fucking follow me with that damn dog again, you fucking slack-jawed grinning cretin! Thanks to the incredibly well-trained and forbearing dog down the road (I LOVE that dog's owner) I had just about got Spike to the point where he can be in sight of a German Shepherd without losing his shit entirely. You really helped me a lot with that. Not.

Oh, and pick up your dog's crap, wankstain. Yes, I saw you.

Please die,

Liz and Spike.

*draws breath*

I really need a Spike "fuck off and die" icon, damn it. *makes hopeful face at cottonmanifesto*

...in other news, while I was writing this, Cassie looked intently out of the window and barked. I knew she could make some weird noises, but this? Took the fucking biscuit. Cats are weird.

Comments

[purplewaxhand.livejournal.com]

Cassie...barked?!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

She did! It didn't sound quite like a dog bark - it sounded like a cat imitating a dog bark. It was bloody bizarre!

[kronob.livejournal.com]

Sounds like Cassie is trying to fit in :D

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

That's just what I thought! It was really weird!

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

your wish is my command


mollie barks at birds!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH I LOVE YOU!!!!

I've heard cats growl at birds but never bark. It was freaky!

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

:)

mollie goes ... mmmmmmmROWR!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Cassie's was more like Wauwh!! Very abrupt with no trilling or throatiness in it, if you see what I mean. If I hadn't seen her doing it I'd never have thought it was a noise a cat could make.

[purplewaxhand.livejournal.com]

just wait to see if Spike or Squish start meowing. :D

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Mostly I hear cats say "gek gek gek" at birds.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

I've heard Maisie do that one (woodpigeons tend to inspire it), but not Cass.

I hope she barks again some time, I can try and catch it with the movie camera. Was freaky.

[bulletslc.livejournal.com]

Here's a Firefly fuck off icon for you to use as well....;-D

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

I've run out of icon slots! I'm saving it for the next icon shuffle, though. And here's a Kirk one to match - I don't know who made it, unfortunately, but it wasn't me.

[bulletslc.livejournal.com]

Hee hee!!!! I'm not so much a trek girl...but that's cute! And I made the Firefly one so use it as you like....

[wirenth.livejournal.com]

wow! i'd totally fuck off and die if that were aimed at me!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

isn't she great!!!

it's not aimed at you here, it's just being shown off :)

[nyecamden.livejournal.com]

I bet that was a bugger on your arm.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

I certainly could have done without it. I hate going down the street with a hysterical LOUD dog that wants to kill someone else's dog just for existing - and I know that part of it wasn't Idiot's fault.

...though really, if you were walking a dog and you saw that, would you then start walking closer? Who does that??

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Too many people. The wife will drag Maggie 100 feet off the path, and people will still wander toward her with their dogs.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

It's a first for me - I suppose I should be grateful. Baffling. The GSD was only a baby and Spike's not exactly subtle when he's in I KILL YOU!!! mode. Loud loud voice and every hair on his back standing up, which makes him look like a small dragon.

You know, I find it hard to imagine Maggie being truly scary, despite the whole OMGPITBULL thing. Even though I know she'd do a lot more damage than Spike could if it came to it, all I can think of is that soft smiley special spotted dog.

[wirenth.livejournal.com]

luce thinks stupid people are especially tasty with mayo.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Aren't they a bit fatty for dogfood, though?

Besides, the stupid might be catching...

[wirenth.livejournal.com]

she says nah, though she does prefer baby.

baby: the other other white meat.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

mmmm, tender!

[wuluf.livejournal.com]

Does spike have a death wish!! I had a German Shepard, Most dogs have the seance to avoid/be chilled around them. Mine would either ignore other dogs or have a sniff then walk away. If a another dog got stroppy around him he would bite therir ear Just to so they got the message. Though I had have 2 dickeds with rockwilers who though it would be fun to let there dogs have a go at him, both dogs came off worse for wear.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Spike's a big macho bastard!

He's got a hate on for German Shepherds ever since an incident when he was still a puppy. This lady was standing in her open front doorway nattering to her neighbour, and Spike and I walked past on the pavement, minding our own business.

Then her Shepherd shot out between her legs and hit Spike like a ton of furry bricks for being in his territory. It took Spike by surprise and scared the crap out of him, and as far as he could tell it was completely unprovoked. It convinced him the breed were all dangerous violent maniacs who needed exterminating.

He's not very keen on any dogs, but he really, really, really hates Shepherds.

[ghost07.livejournal.com]

My neighbor has a dachsund that hates every other dog who walks this earth. We have another neighbor...a very talkative one who likes to come close as she can, all the time saying...Oh my dog won't hurt your Dachsund...Finally maxine's owner just put up her hand and yelled BACK OFF! then proceeded to ream the rottweiler's owner up one side and down the other.

Rooter's owner hasn't gone near any other dog ever since...instead she walks him with her nose high in the air, sniffing ever so often. Sometimes you just have to shout at dumb people. It does get their attention.

Julius Barks...at night, when he notices another cat outside his window...one bark, then he runs to the other window and meows frantically.

Cuddles barked, too, when an inconsiderate family member decided to visit and bring her poodle! I couldn't believe this cousin of mine would have the gall to bring her dog and then expect me to let it come inside when I had only the one cat...and she knew Cuddles did not like other animals coming into HER house.

[fara-shimbo.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, cats are weird... I used to have a cat who regularly said, "Er ringy ow roo loo roo loo."

[pointyhairedone.livejournal.com]

Made a cat go 'Woof!' once. See, you take some petrol, and...


Uh oh. Ash is giving me the look.

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

Uhm
where did she take the fuckign biscuit?

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

*rolls eyes*

It's an expression, dear.

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

Oh. Kind of like how I was taking the mickey with that comment?

[bulletslc.livejournal.com]

Cake/biscuit....same diff. ;-D

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

So she was having her biscuit & eating it too?
Or was she telling Liz & the dogs to eat biscuit?