Black Doggerel

We are now down to only one of Spike's special soft rubber balls. We went to Big Park with the last two in my pocket, and Spike lost track of one when a Springer Spaniel came past and attracted everyone's attention.

I sent him to find it. Spike is not naturally good at finding lost balls; he has a short attention span and it's hard for him to work up an interest in anything that isn't moving. Squish is far better suited to this job; unfortunately Squish has learned the hard way that it's not a good idea to pick a ball up unless Spike is tied to a tree.

Spike did not find the ball; but Spike, unlike Squish, has a talent for improvisation. He spent thirty seconds searching, and triumphantly fetched me a filthy mouldering tennis shoe instead. So we had a damn good fetch game with that instead. I love my evil muddy dog.

Also? Spike hasn't had a melatonin tablet for two days, and he still refrained from aggressing at downstairs neighbour's GSD when we passed her on the way to the park. Could we be winning?

*sigh* Firework season's in full swing here already. They went legally on sale on October 15th, and since then we haven't had a single night, weekday or weekend, rain or not, that someone in my neighbourhood hasn't been firing them off.

This is partly a British thing, and also partly an effect of living on this particular housing estate. Townsend has a rough reputation, with good reason. It's full of young twenty-somethings who are often drunk and often bored, and it's stuck right out on the edge of town so that they don't have anywhere to get drunk and bored except for the many public parks and bits of common ground. And the 24-hour supermarket where fireworks have gone on sale is a five-minute walk away.

I've been trying not to give Spike a melatonin tablet every single night, but I'm finding he needs one about five nights out of seven because the bangs just NEVER FUCKING STOP. Last night there were a lot of those whistly shrieky fireworks, and he needed Rescue Remedy and a massage as well.

I'm only resisting taking the damn tablets myself because I know Spike's going to need them all this autumn. Last week while I was out walking them, two of our charming local yoof thought it was funny to let off some firecrackers right across the road from us - deliberately, I mean, after having SEEN that I had dogs. And laughing at Spike jumping out of his skin. If they hadn't been on bicycles I think I might have beaten them to death on the spot. As it was I couldn't catch the little fuckheads.

In other news, on the way back from Big Park this morning, we encountered Downstairs Neighbour and his German Shepherd. I would like to announce to everyone in the world that Spike DID NOT BARK. The German Shepherd did, because Spike has gone "I KILL JOOO" at her so often in the past; but he only gave her a dirty look. I attribute it to last night's leftover melatonin in his system, but he got so much praise and sausage for it that I hope the habit may stick.

Also please note new icon. Someone made non-movie-watching me watch Four Brothers, and now I've gone all fangirly.

blergh. Jumped by an offleash beagle while dogwalking. I say "jumped", in fact beagle was perfectly friendly, but my dogs were on-leash and therefore Spike threw one of his THROW THAT THING OUT THE AIRLOCK meltdowns, during which he managed to catch my left pinkie finger in a leashloop. I think he may have sprained it. It hurts like fuck, is twice normal size and can only just move.

happy happy joy joy.


eta: 1900, barely dark, and I hear distant pyrotechnics already. what the fuck is it with people? Gave Spike a pill.

So we're at the park, having a grand old time with our rubber balls and two of the local kids. Spike is loose, Squish is on his twenty-foot leash. Everything is sunshine and puppies; and then a bloke with a little Rottie mix shows up. (Little = about 2/3 Rott sized; about one Squish or one and a half Spikes)

( I have had better dog walks. )

ARGH. Today, just for a moment, I was the person with the loose dog attacking someone else's leashed dog. I do not feel good about this.


We were in our usual park (a place where it is both legal and normal for dogs to be offleash, by the way). Spike was offleash playing ball, Squish was on his twenty-foot-long leash. Squish had just taken a dump and I was fiddling with a plastic bag. So I didn't actually have my eye on Spike, and he saw the people with the leashed German Shepherd before I did.

If it had been anything except a German Shepherd, there would have been no trouble at all. Spike isn't a big fan of other dogs, but as long as he's not leashed he ignores them. But Spike has a real big problem with German Shepherds. We got jumped by one unexpectedly when he was ten months old, and he's held an enormous grudge ever since. He thinks they should all be exterminated. He didn't even stop to growl. He just piled straight in.

It only lasted a few seconds. He does have near-perfect recall (the only exceptions are squirrels and visible running cats), and he broke off and came back when I bellowed at him. He wasn't at all happy about it - "I could have taken him, Ma!" with all his hackles up and sparks in his eyes like a miniature black dragon, and Squish helpfully barking his head off in support. The people with the Shepherd hurried away, but my nerves couldn't take any more. I leashed everyone up and came home fast so I could check him for damage (I didn't find any). Damn thing must have been three times his size.

He looks so pleased with himself. The bastard.

So much fun! Met up with our old friend Kim and Spike's bestest buddy Jay. They live over near my mother and we've not seen each other as much since we moved, but last time we met in Sainsbury's we decided to arrange a playdate. Dogs had a total blast. Spike rolled in the filthiest stagnant puddle he could find and now my entire flat smells like pond scum. I am gathering my strength and contemplating washing him. Squish stayed on his long line but there was much running, chasing and bouncing within its limits. Jay is one of the nicest dogs I've ever met, a GSD/Staff mix.

I even remembered to bring my camera, but I'd only got a couple of pics when Squish got himself hopelessly entangled in a hedge and needed rescuing AT ONCE, so I ended up stuffing the camera back in my pocket still switched on and running the battery down. But at least I can show you Jay!

( Lovely Jay )

Imagine that you are walking your dog down a long straight road. (If you don't have a dog, imagine that you do.) Ahead of you, walking in the same direction, is a woman with a big arse and two black and white dogs. One of her dogs turns, sees your dog and starts barking at it. The woman growls ENOUGH in his ear, he stops barking and they start to walk faster. However, your dog (who's clearly not as quick on the uptake as hers) has now seen the other dogs, and explodes in a storm of frenzied barks and growls.

What happens next?


[Poll #941971]

Park, today. We're doing our thing, Squish wandering round on his long line and Spike playing ball, when a guy turns up with a pretty black Lab mix and her ball.

Spike is offleash, so he's completely indifferent - "Oh, look, a dog. NOW THROW MY BALL, LADY!"

Squish, though - my special little spotted snowflake. He's hugely excited by other dogs, he's frightened of everything, he really loves to bark and he has the social skills of an infant Cluster Lizard raised by a dead guy. He raced up to the Lab mix, hackles up, tail wagging, play-bowing and barking his fool head off all at once. I braced for impact and he still pulled me flat on my face (thankfully, I failed to land in any turds, which in that particular park is a bit like winning the lottery). The poor Lab mix looked like you'd look if someone grabbed you by the collar while you were shopping and started ranting happily about our Reptile Overlords. She was too startled and confused to attack him at once, but she looked like she might any second. And Spike didn't care and doesn't like to hit girls, but Squish is on his crew - he was standing by in case things turned nasty, ready to dive in and make it ten times worse.

So I stood up, at the other end of Squish's long line, all ready to reel him in, and I sang out - "Squishy come!"

And he did. Instantly! And again and again despite the Lab mix's continued presence! Let everyone do the Dance Of Sausage Joy!

*dances*

Good things about today: My kitchen, while still deeply disgusting, is less squalid than it was. I've cleared the sinkful of rotting dishes, scrubbed the dustbin and the cupboard and all the mysterious drips, dribbles and stains off the fronts of the cupboards and drawers. There's still a lot needs doing - the huge pile of stuff in the middle of the floor, the filthy chopping board, the life form evolving in the microwave, the congealed pool of greasy detritus under the sandwich toaster and the floor itself, but I feel like I've made a dent in it.

ulva made me this amazing LJ background: see! I haven't actually loaded it into my LJ yet. I have to make sure I save the settings for the old background somewhere and I'm feeling too bleggy to start messing with LJ settings right now. But I wanted to show everyone, and show that it's appreciated and loved.

Squish is becoming reconciled to the long line/harness. This didn't happen because of anything I did - it happened because I put him on the long line as soon as we reached the park today, and an orange cat streaked across the far corner of the park. He immediately forgot all his troubles and chased after it, was brought up short by the long line, found it didn't kill him or even hurt, and decided maybe it would be OK after all. And then he came running back the moment I called him, so I feel like we're winning. Yayy!

We also met Daisy the Cocker Spaniel in the park and had a long chat with her and her owner. Daisy's thirteen now and her eyesight is going, but she's as sweet as ever. Love her!

bananadancer did a meme that went look at the list of songs from the year you turned 18, bold the ones you like, strike the ones you hate, leave the ones you forget or are indifferent to in normal type.

So I had a look at the list from my 18th year. And I remembered why I spent those years listening to 1970s music and the John Peel show instead. Heh.

In other news, there's piss in the hallway again. It upsets Spike a lot. I guess the guy with the GSD puppy's having some housetraining trouble. He is getting her spayed though - when he first got her he was bragging about her costing five hundred pounds (whoop de fucking doo!) and it made me scared he was planning backyard breeding in my (figurative) back yard. I guess she's showing him how much hassle puppies are, bless her.

Naamah just fell (dived?) off the couch into the dogs' water bowl while I was typing that last line. Cats suck.