I love your body and your spirit and your clothes

[lizblackdog]

tenna keeps posting these long, detailed questionnaire things about love and life. And I keep finding myself reading them with interest and writing my own answers.



Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1. A TARDIS.
2. Joints that worked properly and new teeth.
3. A car and sufficient income to run it legally.
4. A place with a garden.

Name Four Scents You Love:
1. Grapefruit.
2. Vanilla
3. Fresh sex
4. Wet dog

Name Four Things You Did Today:
1. Smoked
2. Drank coffee
3. Posted on LJ
4. Successfully saved the universe by fighting my way through a horde of Reavers so I could reverse the polarity on the pulsar degeneration engine they were guarding, having previously seduced the only person alive who knew the control code for the degeneration engine, thus closing the fissure in the Vortex. I hope you're all bloody grateful. Chocolates and sexual favours to the usual address please.

Edited to add: 5. Named a beagle. I wish Mercy the very very best of lives from here on in.

What is your current relationship status?
Single, seeing someone irregularly, open to seeing more people.

What is your sexual orientation?
More inclined to gravitate to cock, but highly flexible.

What sort of people do you like, as far as what their interests are in life?
I like people who are passionately geeky about things. It can be anything. It's more fun if they're things I'm also passionate about, such as writing, dogs, birds, time travel, roleplaying or sex, but I equally love to watch people geeking-out over things that interest me less or not at all; movies, programming, woodwork, wine, horses, classical music. The passion's the thing. You do meet people who don't seem to feel passion for anything. I'm sad for them, but they also bore the pants off me.

What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
I like strong facial bones and wide mouths. I'm not overly picky though.

What kind of fashion-sense attracts you?
Fashion sense really isn't much of a factor with me; I have a nearly negative one myself. If I notice it at all, all I care about is that they're picking clothes that make them feel better about themselves and aren't too fussy or flashy. Being a fashion-slave will lose you points with me. Also, I have a weakness for lumberjack shirts on men. So sue me.

What kind of hair style do you find attractive on a potential mate?
I like long thick hair that you can grab - and I will grab it if you let me, and probably hurt you too. Sorry.

What is the usual age range you look at?
Now that I'm older than dirt myself, I'm a lot less inclined to look seriously at people in their twenties - they look like children to me - but there are plenty of exceptions to that. Other than that, age isn't much of a factor. I still harbour a shameful passion for Phil the Greek and he's well into his eighties.

What traits turn you off?
Physical? Receding chins, a little. General? Dullness.

Are you afraid to ask people out on dates?
No, but I tend to encourage them to ask. Otherwise I worry that they're just going along with me to be polite.

If you're single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
Not really.

What are the positive points about being single?
There's no one in my face, no one who can be annoyed if I don't clean the kitchen for months, use all the hot water, stay up all night or play Voodoo Child on repeat for two hours. I can make all the everyday decisions about my life based only on my own convenience or preferences. Little things like one partner wanting meals to be at the same time every day and one feeling that you eat when you're hungry and if that happens at 3am, so be it - those things can break you if you aren't careful and watchful. I don't have to deal with any of that.

What are the negative points about being single?
I don't have any backup. If I were to break my leg, for example, I'd be royally fucked. There isn't anyone else who can walk the dogs for me; I'd have to decamp to my mother's till I was healed. If something worse happened, like being permanently badly disabled or having to spend months in hospital, I might well be forced to rehome my dogs and/or leave my home. I don't let myself think about those possibilities. I am also lonely sometimes. I'd like to have someone I could watch movies with; I'd like to feel human skin against mine more often, I'd like to do sex without having to prearrange and find dogsitters sometimes. I'd like to have more face to face vocal conversations - I go for days without speaking aloud to anyone but myself and the dogs sometimes, and then I go shopping or something and catch myself chattering maniacally at the girl on the checkout because it's all backed up in there, and she'll be looking at me like I escaped from a funny farm.

That said, none of this is sufficient for me to be willing to share my living space again. I just wish to hell all the people I have in my life weren't so fucking far away.

When single, do you often find yourself longing for companionship?
Not enough to give up singleness, but yes.

How well do you handle rejection?
Depends on the rejection, depends on the feel I get from someone. I'll either shrug and move on or I'll hang around grinning at them till they realise what they're missing and do me. If I cry I'll cry in private. I don't ever get shitty or psycho.

Do you miss your last sweetie?
24/7/365

Do you think it's better to look for love or let it find you?
Letting it find me always worked for me. You do have to put yourself out there a bit, though. It's not going to drop down your chimney while you're sat at home watching TV and eating cheesy poofs in your dressing gown.

What's the longest relationship you've ever been in?
Nine years.

The shortest?
*thinks back* ...um, I think it went for three or four months? Not counting random one-off shags.

Do you think couples should spend a very large amount of time together or space things out a tad?
For me, spacing works better. Couples in general need to work it out for themselves.

Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment?
I often think I ought to be committed No. I have two modes: total commitment or not at all. I have very little control over which one I'll click into and I never worry about it.

When involved with a person, do you try to think about the here and now or do you often think of the future?
Here and now.

How do you prefer to handle disagreements?
On the basis of how important the issue disagreed over is to each person. If it's more important to you than me, you get your way. If it's important enough to me I may kill you over it.

How do you feel when your mate is mad at you and won't tell you why?
Thank all the gods, everyone I ever fell in love with was the sort of person who'd never miss the opportunity to tell me at great length and in excruciating detail exactly what I did to make them mad. I'd much rather deal with that than sulks and silence.

Do you have a crush right now? Do they know?
Yes, and if they don't they're either much stupider than I give them credit for, or so far up that Egyptian river that they've got a Burton plaque nailed to their forehead.

Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
...define "a lot"? I tell some people. I'd burst if I didn't. I try to stop myself burbling endlessly about it to everyone in the entire world.

Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
Only if the child was old enough to spend most of its time not in its parent's face, or someone else was the primary caretaker. I like children and get on well with them as a rule, but I won't ever let myself be put into a position where I might have to take responsibility for one.

What would you do if you got pregnant while in a relationship?
Get the swiftest abortion humanly possible and tell no one.

Would you get involved with someone if they were previously married?
Sure, why not?

In a potential mate, how important is intelligence to you?
It's of absolute, vital, primary importance. A stupid person might do for a one-off casual fuck but not anything that would involve me spending more than five minutes clothed in their company.

In a potential mate, how important is a sense of humor to you?
See "intelligence".

What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
...Attention. That's all. Any indication that the person's thinking about me. I'm ridiculously easy to please.

What was your first kiss like?
Unbelievably horny.

What part of a person's body do you find most attractive?
Probably bellies. And necks, and forearms (forearms is a man thing.) Boobies. (not a man thing!).

How important are the looks of a mate's face to you?
Not particularly.

How important are the looks of a mate's body to you?
Not very. There's beauty to be found in every permutation of the human form, and if I like a person I'll find what's beautiful about them and concentrate on that.

When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
It's usually the other. I can be rather passive.

Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren't seriously involved with?
Ha. Yes.

Were you single at the time?
Yes.

What are your ticklish areas?
Nearly everywhere. I advise you not to touch the back of my neck or the insides of my elbows unless you're prepared to fuck me senseless on the spot. I get cranky if I'm frustrated.

How much do you think sex changes a relationship?
Sex will change most relationships. How much depends on the relationship. I've had friends that turned into fuckbuddies with almost no change in the dynamic between us except a bit more touchy-feelyness and a certain quality to the smiles.

Would you stay with a lover if the love stopped but the sex was still enjoyable?
Maybe. For a while, anyway.

Would you stay with a lover if the sex stopped/got boring but there was still love?
Probably.

Do you believe in love?
Love's the only engine of survival.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Been there, done that, got the wedding photos.

Has someone ever told you they loved you?
Yes.

Have you ever told someone you loved them and meant it?
Yes.

Have you ever told someone you loved them and not meant it?
No. I'm not in the habit of saying shit I don't mean.

Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
I'm not monogamous by nature myself.

Have you ever been married?
Yes.

How do you feel about marriage?
I loved it.

If you're currently not married, do you foresee yourself ever tying the knot?
No. That was a one-off; there's not the remotest possibility of me doing it again.

Do you plan on having children someday?
No.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.

Have you ever been dumped?
No.

Have you ever dumped someone?
No.

Have you ever mutually broken up with someone?
Yes.

Has a romantic companion ever made you cry?
Often.

Have you ever made a romantic companion cry?
I doubt it.

Have you ever had an emotional pain so bad it made you sick or physically hurt?
Yes.

Have you ever been unfaithful?
Yes.

Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes.

Have you ever learned an important lesson as a result of a break up?
Every single experience in life teaches you something, and it's all important. That said, I don't think I can point to any one thing I learned specifically from a break-up.

Have you ever gotten back together with someone after breaking up?
No. Though I have had one-off shags with exes.

Did it work?
N/A

Do you believe there's hope for people after they get back together or do you think the same problems that caused the initial break up will resurface?
Depends how intelligently and thoughtfully they go about it. If they have a realistic mental picture of what went wrong and have put thought and effort into dealing with those issues, then they'll go from strength to strength. If they're just defaulting back to each other because the devil you know is better than being alone, then very likely not.