Black Doggerel

( Who shot the meme? )

In other news, I am sufficiently tired of the ever-increasing squalor of my flat that I am considering advertising for someone to clean it in exchange for sex.

In other other news, it's now been over a week since Spike last yelled death threats at a strange dog while out on a walk. He isn't dopily over-relaxed as he was the first time I gave him melatonin; he's acting Spike-normal apart from the reduced aggression. It has to be the tablets, though, because I've been trying to discourage that habit for years - I know nothing I did in the training line would make it disappear overnight.

I am having to give him a tablet pretty much every evening, because my craggy-browed neighbours are so excited about being able to make fire that they're still doing it every night, quite often not even waiting for dark. The quietest nights are Friday and Saturday. I was puzzled by that at first, then I realised that the ones who don't stop making the noise must be the ones who are out drinking those nights.

I give Spike the tablets hidden in a piece of sausage, and now he's taken to waiting by the fridge the minute he hears the first bang.

sex and spanking and stargate and stuffed crust pizza oh my. best birthday ever!

am exhausted, and my finger joints are all swollen & painful and making typing hard. partly from dog leashes and old age and partly from digging fingernails into salty man-flesh during the more exciting parts of the afternoon.

i hurt too much to reply to everyone right now but i will do it. i love you all so much. thank you :)

topbit, the icon is specially for you *innocent face*

in other news, i have new cardboard boxes and Spike and the kittens are having a blast playing with them. surprising how small a box a border collie can fold himself into when he tries.

Oh my. Intensely erotic dream in which I was in bed with a dark man (he was someone I knew very well, I just don't know who he actually was) and Lucius Malfoy. Not precisely at the same time; I was at school (which had apparently morphed into Hogwarts, since there was a four-poster bed and dark wood panelling) and they'd each taken it into their heads to slip in and visit me in the night. I think they missed each other by a few minutes.

I woke up still tasting the blond one. I really want to go back to sleep and do that again.

This is such a damn horny song. I haven't done sex in ages. My bedroom is a kitten-infested bombsite, and the heat during the day makes me too lethargic to be horny, and my favourite sex person is a hundred miles away and inconvenient to get hold of.

however, despite the recent disinclination, every now and then when the conditions are right I explode with the horny. LIKE RIGHT NOW.

throw me down and take me THIS MINUTE, damn it!

YAY SEX!!!


...er, we'll be returning to our regular schedule of kittens and being able to string two coherent words together tomorrow.

most excellent afternoon/evening :-D

The Summer Palace on Wimborne Road does the most awesome deep-fried salt-and-pepper "mixed meat" (duck, beef, prawns and chicken) and their pancake rolls are the best I've ever tasted. Doctor Who was... hmmm, I'm thinking the plot was a tad predictable and some of the dialogue was kinda lame, but there was Maureen Lipman and there was Tennant with a duck's arse, and it was oh, so beautiful and atmospheric and a lot of fun. And there was other fun too, tired as we were, and that was different because of tiredness; but tiredness can make it better, sometimes. Today was one of those times.

Cass/Faith likes to sit on the back of my computer chair and purr on my neck while I type. She also showed signs of doing a Monty* when the Chinese food arrived, but I hissed at her and made her stop. Being small, cute and preggo doesn't exempt you from basic table manners in this house.

Note to self: get a squirt bottle or a water pistol. Might help with Squish's yapping too. That's getting somewhat excessive and he doesn't seem able to connect the word "no" with it as he would if it were something physical he was doing.

I have ordered Spike a new harness. I don't get paid for another week but Mum agreed to cover it until then. Watching someone you love karate-chop himself in the larynx every time he sees something interesting gets old very fast.

Still tired, but oh, so happy.


*Monty was one of my Auntie Jeannie's cats. He was a rangy, manky tabby with snaggle teeth, a hit-and-miss attitude towards the litter tray (on a good day he'd go in the same room as the tray) and a purr like a rusty chainsaw. He was as omnivorous as a half-starved boar-pig and only very slightly less pushy. If you were unwise enough to eat anything in the same room as him you needed to keep a hand free to bat him out of the air every time he tried to take a flying leap into your plate or attack your fork on its way to your mouth. It didn't matter what you were eating. I once lobbed the hard tail-end of a French stick at him to get him to bugger off and let me eat in peace, and he pounced happily on it and ate every crumb in about fifteen seconds.

Am back from party. Good time. Was had by all. More later.











_{(well, I wasn't actually had by all of them, but I couldn't resist using that line.)}

*sigh* Well, Easter weekend could have gone better. Not that I'm complaining about the company - I never met such a man for giving me nothing to complain about on a regular basis - but a couple of tactical errors and the vagaries of female biology made the weekend less good than other weekends of its kind.

The major tactical error was keeping Spike and Squish at home rather than parking them at their Granny's. I got a bit too optimistic after they proved they were capable of not spoiling my fun; but an afternoon is not the same as an overnight, and I failed to take into account that foxes have been fucking noisily under my windows all week. I don't know whether the explosions of hysterical barking put the foxes off their stride at all, but they were a pretty damn good mood breaker for me. Spike trying to break the bedroom door down was the icing on the cake.

I'd also like to add that the female reproductive system is the best argument against intelligent design I've ever come across. If this POS system was actually designed by anyone, it was a misogynistic prude with the sort of mindset that finds Mr Bean the height of sophisticated humour. I look forward to either evolving something a bit more user-friendly or ripping out all the redundant components with my fingernails, depending on how long my patience lasts.

That said, Doctor Who was great despite the "WTF?" moment near the end, Domino's cheese steak melt pizza is bloody marvellous and everything else was still a good deal better than most other men of my acquaintance could have managed under the circumstances; though it definitely works better if the pizza happens afterwards. Food makes us too contented and somnolent.

I'll manage better circumstances next time, I promise.