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I'm seriously wondering if this heat is going to kill me.
can't eat, can't stop drinking, can't think straight, am soaking myself in cold water every few hours. it feels like the only thing keeping me alive.
mum is doing well at T's, Maisie is fine in London with E. I'm wondering if some of this isn't just the collapse now that the immediate responsibilities of having to rush round coping have been lifted.
however, I've been wondering for a while if there might be something wrong. I've always kept my liquid intake on the high side, but needing 5 litres a day is a bit excessive even for me. There's also been the raging thirst if I'm separated from something to drink for more than fifteen minutes, the faintiness if I don't eat in the morning, the incredible lassitude and foggy thinking - I never do well in the heat but this last week I've felt constantly hungover and I can't spend five minutes on the couch without falling asleep. None of this is normal for me even in the heat.
sister T phoned halfway through typing this entry and nagged till I made a doctor's appointment. the annoyance of getting there on foot/bus has put me off, there's no direct bus and I'm not up to walking far in this weather. however, I still have Mum's debit card (with permission) and Mum says I can get a taxi if I like.
doctor's appt, Friday 14th, 4.20pm. mustn't forget it.
forgive me if I don't comment much today. love you all. but my head's spinning and I'm going to go lie down.
can't eat, can't stop drinking, can't think straight, am soaking myself in cold water every few hours. it feels like the only thing keeping me alive.
mum is doing well at T's, Maisie is fine in London with E. I'm wondering if some of this isn't just the collapse now that the immediate responsibilities of having to rush round coping have been lifted.
however, I've been wondering for a while if there might be something wrong. I've always kept my liquid intake on the high side, but needing 5 litres a day is a bit excessive even for me. There's also been the raging thirst if I'm separated from something to drink for more than fifteen minutes, the faintiness if I don't eat in the morning, the incredible lassitude and foggy thinking - I never do well in the heat but this last week I've felt constantly hungover and I can't spend five minutes on the couch without falling asleep. None of this is normal for me even in the heat.
sister T phoned halfway through typing this entry and nagged till I made a doctor's appointment. the annoyance of getting there on foot/bus has put me off, there's no direct bus and I'm not up to walking far in this weather. however, I still have Mum's debit card (with permission) and Mum says I can get a taxi if I like.
doctor's appt, Friday 14th, 4.20pm. mustn't forget it.
forgive me if I don't comment much today. love you all. but my head's spinning and I'm going to go lie down.
