HERE COME THE DRUMS HERE COME THE DRUMS

[lizblackdog]

bulletslc - Because you love good books and good television as much as I do, you are condemned to be tied to a chair, your eyes pinned open, in front of a TV showing nothing but afternoon game shows, while behind you, a monotonous yet shrill electronic voice reads out trite romance novels - the sort where there isn't even any sex. You will die screaming of a combination of sheer boredom and affronted pleasure-centres of the brain.

yesididit - Because you share my taste in dogs, you will be transported to a universe where the only dogs in existence are tiny short-legged designer mutts, so overbred that they cannot exercise, snuffle when they breathe, never stop farting and have no brains - and you will be forced to attempt to teach them agility. You will die from the combination of frustration and flatulence.

tenna - I will sneak Purity Brand Brain Bleach into your hair dye. You will instantly change from the sparkling individual you are into a whiny little drone with no talent and no imagination, and you will either shrivel and die of embarrassment or be torn to pieces by your friends and admirers yelling "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH OUR ERIN??!!!"

ghost07 - I will infuse some of my brain cells into yours, and you will be so confused by the sudden influx of filthy and murderous thoughts that you will run away to become an exotic dancer, whereupon you will die in a freak accident involving a pair of eighteen-inch-high Perspex platform shoes, a vicar and an inflatable sheep.

Anyone else who commented after I got this far gets killed in the next entry. Damn, I'm enjoying this. Also - the sun has risen here. Woooooo!