bad brain day

It's 5pm and I still feel as though I woke up ten minutes ago. I'm making more typos than something that makes a lot of typos. I keep wanting to post in the Commies Lounge or Kelly'z and I can't think of a single thing worth saying... I'm only posting here so you know I'm not dead. Bah. I'm declaring today cancelled.

And as for the Black Pack:
Question: How many dogs should accompany you to the bathroom?
Answer: How many have you got?

If I shut the door Spike opens it. If I lock the door Spike tries the handle a few times and then barks his head off. If Spike barks Max chimes in with his nerve-shredding high-pitched yapping, and if I yell at them to shut up, Spike assumes I'm yelling at Max and beats him up for me. (Spike takes his elder brother role very seriously...) So I usually give in and pee with the door open and the Pack in attendance, and occasionally the cat as well. At least they've stopped fighting over who gets to stand closer to me while I'm in there - well, mostly... the only way I can get them to leave is to turn the shower on. I'm not a great believer in washing dogs too often, but Spike rolled in fox crap so much last summer that he's still alarmed at the sight of both the shower and the garden hose...

Nicked from crusherdisciple

I actually did this quiz twice, because I got distracted the first time and copied something else to the clipboard before I'd pasted it. I thought I'd ticked the same answers, but I got Lucille Ball before. I think I like this one better...


Va-Va-Voom! You're inner Bombshell is Mae West.
You've definitly got a lot of wit, a lot of
smarts, and you know how to use people to your
advantage. Ever heard the phrase "doesn't
take any crap from anybody"? Well that's
you! Just like Mae you never want to settle
down, and can't imagine being with just one man
for the rest of your life. You don't care about
conventions and have no filter from your brain
to you mouth. Check out the movie "She
Done Him Wrong" to see your inner
bombshell in all her voluptuous glory!


Who is your inner bombshell?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Shepherd and the Consultant

A shepherd was tending his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a dust cloud approached at high speed, out of which emerged a shiny silver BMW. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Ferragamo shoes, the latest Polarized sunglasses and a tightly knotted power tie, poked his head out the window and asked the shepherd, "Hey! If I can tell you how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, then glanced at his peacefully grazing flock and answered, "Sure."

The driver parked his car, plugged his microscopic cell phone into a laptop and briskly surfed to a GPS satellite navigation system on the Internet and initiated a remote body-heat scan of the area. While the computer was occupied, he sent some e-mail via his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, nodded solemnly at the responses. Finally, he printed a 150 page report on the little laser printer in his glove compartment, turned to the shepherd, waving the sheaves of paper, and pronounced “You have exactly 1,586 sheep."

"Impressive. One of my sheep is yours." said the shepherd.

He watched the young man select an animal and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd said: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

Pleased to meet a fellow sportsman, the young man replied “You’re on.”

"You are a consultant." said the shepherd without hesitation.

"That's correct," said the young man, impressed. "How ever did you guess?"

"It wasn’t a guess," replied the shepherd. "You drive into my field uninvited. You ask me to pay you for information I already know, answer questions I haven’t asked, and you know nothing about my business. Now give me my back my dog."

I've posted this at TBBS and Terran before, but it's one of my favourites and there might be someone who hasn't seen it... I'm feeling a little better after an hour's vigorous football with Spike, who was in great form, dancing with me and whacking me on the backside with the football - my hero... I've also realised why I'm feeling like crap - the usual female stuff that I'd have been expecting if I ever paid any attention to dates. Blech.