More than just ashes; when your dreams come true

They tell me that after a death, the living dream; vivid dreams of the dead alive again. That did happen for me, in fact, with my grandfather and my childhood dog, but it never happened with you. There was only the recurring nightmare in which you never appeared; the one that made me cling to the memory of your death as less painful than the dream.

Until now; and you didn't speak, didn't let me see you; there was only your weight on me like an incubus. Your hands holding my throat, not quite gently, until I woke.


I almost dare to hope for forgiveness.

More than just ashes; when your dreams come true

They tell me that after a death, the living dream; vivid dreams of the dead alive again. That did happen for me, in fact, with my grandfather and my childhood dog, but it never happened with you. There was only the recurring nightmare in which you never appeared; the one that made me cling to the memory of your death as less painful than the dream.

Until now; and you didn't speak, didn't let me see you; there was only your weight on me like an incubus. Your hands holding my throat, not quite gently, until I woke.


I almost dare to hope for forgiveness.

What went down in the flood

Wedding Song.

It had to be done.

There's a common perception that true love is synonymous with happy ever after; that once you find The One everything is sunshine and puppies and rainbows until you both die, old and together, holding hands.

Even for those of us who do grow old together, that's such a load of destructive bullshit. True love is more like climbing Everest or swimming the Channel or walking across the Sahara. It's fucking hard and it hurts like hell; it strips away all your defences and breaks you into little bleeding pieces. And it doesn't confer a magical immunity to carelessness and fucking-up, either; in fact, it'll magnify your mistakes to the point where one moment of inattention or stupidity can end you.

But ask anyone who's been there and done that; it's worth it, and more than worth it.

Also? Bob Dylan is God.

What went down in the flood

Wedding Song.

It had to be done.

There's a common perception that true love is synonymous with happy ever after; that once you find The One everything is sunshine and puppies and rainbows until you both die, old and together, holding hands.

Even for those of us who do grow old together, that's such a load of destructive bullshit. True love is more like climbing Everest or swimming the Channel or walking across the Sahara. It's fucking hard and it hurts like hell; it strips away all your defences and breaks you into little bleeding pieces. And it doesn't confer a magical immunity to carelessness and fucking-up, either; in fact, it'll magnify your mistakes to the point where one moment of inattention or stupidity can end you.

But ask anyone who's been there and done that; it's worth it, and more than worth it.

Also? Bob Dylan is God.