I still want to be human again. What am I?

[lizblackdog]

"When you think the world has turned its back on you, think again, is it you that turned your back on the world?"

...quote from one of the wisest, most perceptive people I've ever encountered. She wasn't referring to me, but it applies. Perhaps.

Am feeling very low and out-of-sorts and finding RL, the Internet and the points where they collide very dissatisfying. I think I'm in for one of my hermit spells.

I'm also suffering from urges to write fanfic. Wonderful. More unfinished projects to guilt trip me in my sleep.

I'll be back. Wait for me?

Comments

[angriestangel.livejournal.com]

Don't compliment her too much or it'll go to her head ... oh wait .. that's me ... :D

Take your time :) *hugs*

[huntingdon.livejournal.com]

Isn't that quote from The Lion King?

Not going anywhere ;)

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Could be. She didn't say and I've not seen it - it fitted anyway.

thank you. I'm annoyed with myself for feeling bad when there's nothing in my life to feel bad about.


...oh, except myself, but I've rather got used to that over the years. It hardly bothers me at all.

[huntingdon.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

*love*

..yes, I know.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

I also REALLY feel like getting drunk. And there's no booze of any kind in the house. Gah.

[huntingdon.livejournal.com]

I also know this feeling, which is why I have two bottles of Scotch, one of sherry and three bottles of wine sitting on my kitchen shelf. :D

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

It's exactly why I DON'T. Alcohol and cannabis are the only drugs I haven't got into trouble with. The moment I show any sign of relying on either or having trouble with moderation I shall have to never touch them again, and that would be too annoying.

[christinuviel.livejournal.com]

Really sorry you're feeling low ... *big big hugs* Am useless at explaining away these moods when I get them, so can offer little practical advice except: be really really nice to yourself, and do all the things you know will make you feel better, with as little guilt as is possible.

One of the best bits of advice anyone's given to me was that some pain is unnecessary. That is, sometimes it's worth feeling bad, it's necessary - but when the bad becomes mere punishment, threatens to bring you down totally, then there's just no point to it anymore. Easier said than done, of course.

Am really really sorry, again, that you're feeling low, and hope things get better for you soon - I'm sure they will. SURE sure sure. And I look forward to meeting you in May!!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'll be fine. I just get these spells... at the moment it's a lot to do with having to stay off IM. I feel isolated and there's not a whole lot I can do about that. The arm's really not up to sustained fast typing.

That, and I have a fanfic coming on and I'm not sure I can do it. This is why I don't write much, it's such damn hard work. So frustrating. If I'm lucky the frustration'll force the story out like pus from a boil. That's the only way I ever finish anything.

[christinuviel.livejournal.com]

Gah, yeah - being cut off from the Internet is bloody annoying and unnerving too, especially if you're the sort of person who basically likes to have the connection nearby all day!! =(

And - *sounds even more sycophantic, but it's still bloody true* - the writing thing too. If you expect a lot of yourself when you sit down to write, you never DO sit down cos it feels too much like work and the worst thing's always starting!

What fandom is your fanfic-to-be in?

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

it's always DS9. I love several fandoms but there's only one I feel enough at home in to write. This is my Kendra Valley story. I only know half of it and it''s bugging me.

[ulva.livejournal.com]

*glares at you suspicously*

Hmmm... you're not avioding your medication are you?

And I'm not going anywhere. You know that. ;)

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

I'm NOT. I'm taking it religiously and I have -*counts*- seven pills left and some more ready at the pharmacy. I'm being good.

[ulva.livejournal.com]

In that case... go play... ;)

[gwenhyffar.livejournal.com]

{{{{hugs}}}

Dog sends old lady smooches.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

thank you! love the old lady!

[orac-zen.livejournal.com]

I'll be back.

I should think so.

Wait for me?

But of course. Goes without saying.

Take care, Liz. *** hugs ***

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Thank you darling. Although it looks like I'm not being quite as hermitty as I thought I was going to be.

***love***

[entorien.livejournal.com]

*Big Big Hug!*

Awwww, hon! You want to feel better? Just look at your boys! I'm sure that big Squishy grin can make anything feel better!

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

They keep me going every day. They're my biggest reason for getting out of bed every morning. Thank you darling.

[auriocookie.livejournal.com]

*just sending some warm huggles your way*

feel better soon..

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[johi36.livejournal.com]

*sends many, many hugs* :)

Am feeling very low and out-of-sorts and finding RL, the Internet and the points where they collide very dissatisfying.

Sounds very familiar. But it always gets better again sooner or later, doesn't it? :D

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

it does, and i've lived long enough to know that for an indisputable fact.

Still sucks but that does make it a lot easier to get through.

thanks, darling.

[johi36.livejournal.com]

Still sucks but that does make it a lot easier to get through.

I know that it still sucks. When I'm like this, hardly anything anybody tells me can make me feel better at first. But the thought that there are people who are always there for me usually helps - and I'm sure you know that you have a lot of friends here who won't go away. :D

*sends more hugs*

[peaceful-fox.livejournal.com]

I just want to give you a hug. I know what it's like to feel down even if things are going well. It happens to me, as well. I have a great life, and sometimes I just feel like shit. I'm sorry that you go through this as well. (((HUG)))

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

Thank you darling!

This comment turned up in the email last night but it didn't appear here till this morning for some bizarre reason. I thought you must have deleted it, which was why I didn't reply till just now.

Life is so strange. Miracles and wonders.