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...out of all the music I've ever listened to, every sound I've ever loved in my life, I don't think anything carries a bigger emotional load than the Grateful Dead's American Beauty.
John introduced me to it, and I inherited its emotional resonances from him. Together we added more layers to those resonances. We used to quote lines from it to each other in our love letters during times apart. There were many favourites, but one that just slid past me and sparked is this, from Operator:
"I don't know where she's going, I don't care where she's been, as long as she's been doin' it right"
...which tells you all you need to know about John's views on truth, love and artistic integrity; just one more item of value in my rich inheritance. I try to do it right.
When I resurrected myself from heroin's undead and started reacquiring the albums I'd sworn I'd never sell for drugs (ha!) it was the very first CD I bought (together with Bob Dylan's Blood On The Tracks), the same day I bought the cheap little portable CD player with the first social security cheque I no longer had to spend on drugs.
And now, in a different place, a new life and new love, it still sustains me. All the love and beauty still there, much used and untarnished. Love never dies. Thank you.
What a long, strange trip it's been.
John introduced me to it, and I inherited its emotional resonances from him. Together we added more layers to those resonances. We used to quote lines from it to each other in our love letters during times apart. There were many favourites, but one that just slid past me and sparked is this, from Operator:
"I don't know where she's going, I don't care where she's been, as long as she's been doin' it right"
...which tells you all you need to know about John's views on truth, love and artistic integrity; just one more item of value in my rich inheritance. I try to do it right.
When I resurrected myself from heroin's undead and started reacquiring the albums I'd sworn I'd never sell for drugs (ha!) it was the very first CD I bought (together with Bob Dylan's Blood On The Tracks), the same day I bought the cheap little portable CD player with the first social security cheque I no longer had to spend on drugs.
And now, in a different place, a new life and new love, it still sustains me. All the love and beauty still there, much used and untarnished. Love never dies. Thank you.
What a long, strange trip it's been.
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You're a goddess. If you grow up to be like me, you can skip the parts where you fuck your own life up through sheer impulsive stupidity. Those bits were boring.
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Your life isn't fucked now, you have gotten it back on track and that takes a shitload of strength from where you were at your lowest.
I think John would be beyond proud. *love*
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how it affects others is where I fell down. If I'd really kept that in mind I'd have saved a lot of other people a lot of pain and John might still have been here. In which case he'd have been monopolising the computer and no one here would ever have heard of me, probably.
I kind of have to live well now. I'm all there is left of him.
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xxxx
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Just remember, it's an equal opporunity world. If you don't like it being applied to you, you can always sign on to apply it to OTHERS!
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You don't know the POWER of the DARK SIDE
[/DomVader voice]
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You are here, now; that matters.
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That's absolutely true. I've never stopped being an addict, I've just got better at choosing the ones that I can manage.
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well, back to grappling with shakespeare ;)