Just dug today's post out from under my collie, all happy to receive a parcel from [livejournal.com profile] wychwood (thank you! yayyy!!!) and old-school Doctor Who DVDs from Blockbuster, and... there's another envelope. It's from Dorset Magistrates' Courts, and the little plastic window in it shows a letter printed in red.

Well, that can never be good. But it's been six years since I broke any laws (or at least, since I last got caught). I'm not scared.

The letter's to tell me that they're issuing a warrant for my arrest and sending bailiffs round to seize my belongings if I don't pay them £482.51 in fines within seven days.

I don't have a font big, red or startled enough to convey the amount of WTF that's going on here. I haven't been ignoring court letters or anything. I haven't had any. In SIX FUCKING YEARS. If there are any unpaid fines, I've gone through the last six years blissfully unaware of their existence, and apparently so has the Magistrates' Court computer system.

Once upon a time I would have panicked and gone into instant denial. Hidden the letter unopened, pretended I hadn't received it and acted all surprised when they issued the warrant for my arrest and turned up to take me and my furniture away. But this is the new, improved, reformed Liz and she does the sensible grown-up thing. She phones the number at the top of the letter, quotes the case number, and gibbers in panic at the nice lady on the other end of the line.

Between us, we found out what had happened. Six years ago I was fined for (among other things) driving without a valid license, or insurance, or something. (Don't expect me to remember. Even if I could remember those days in detail, I really, really don't want to.) The fine was set up to be paid automatically out of my benefits, which is what happens when you don't have any money. Because there were several fines, they were set up to be paid off little by little one after the other.

Except apparently, their hamster died some time between one fine and the next, and the payments that should have happened automatically six years ago never did. I have no idea why. I have even less idea why it took them this long to notice. The good news is that, according to the lady I spoke to on the phone, if I turn up at the Magistrates' Court and point out that the unpaidness of the fine is due to their administrative fuck-up, I should at least be able to pay this off at three quid a week for the next thirty years, and maybe, just maybe a faint possibility of being let off paying it altogether. Court date's May 31st. Don't anyone let me forget.

bloody arseholes.

From: [identity profile] gordynate.livejournal.com


I suppose it's comfortable that we don't have the only judicial system with its head up its ass :-) Good luck!
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


Thanks :)

eh, it could be worse. At least it was their mistake, which puts me on the moral high ground. I can go to court and act all injured-innocent - well, not an act, really - and they should make it easy on me.

From: [identity profile] gordynate.livejournal.com


When I said "comfortable" I meant "comforting." Don't know what's wrong with me today!

From: [identity profile] randomyst.livejournal.com


Gosh, I'm sorry you're having these troubles but big fat YAY for dealing with it right away!
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


I KNOW! Aren't I good!!

*ignoring the fact that it's taken me till I'm almost forty to master acting-like-a-grownup 101*

From: [identity profile] bites-the-sun.livejournal.com


And hang on, at £3 a week, that fine should be paid of in approximately 3 1/2 years, not 30. I think, anyway (working without a calculator here!).
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


...well, a long time, anyway. I'm a short-term thinker, there's not that much difference between three years and thirty in my world.

I'm going to do my damndest to talk them into letting me off completely. I think it's GROSSLY unfair to have a fine I assumed I'd paid suddenly bite me in the arse at this late date.

From: [identity profile] bites-the-sun.livejournal.com


Oh, I agree, it's utterly unfair when it's entirely their fuck-up at work here. I wonder how the hell it came to light anyway?

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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


That's filed under Eternal Mysteries Of Life, along with "why does lighting a cigarette make the bus arrive faster" and "why does it only rain when I've forgotten my coat". I put it down to the perversity of the universe.

From: [identity profile] cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com


"why does lighting a cigarette make the bus arrive faster"

Ha ha ha! I wrote a comic strip on this very subject.
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


It's a long-established universal fact of life, isn't it?

(I didn't know you wrote comic strips! SHOW ME!!)

From: [identity profile] resqdog51.livejournal.com


Oi, fuck!

At least you didn't have a heart seizure over the whole thing so they'd have to come get you out of hospital.

Geez.

Truely, tho, most judges *I* have run into (fortuately mostly on the correct side of the law....mostly) have been incredibly understanding and nice -- so long as whoever was in front of them was very polite, very honest and in honest distress over the thought of having something suddenly dumped on them.


*hug* Don't forget. May 31st. Take the WHOLE day off, show up WAY early and wait very patiently for your turn in court. Dress nicely and practically and be super polite. Also, have as much documentation as you can get -- including the name of the nice lady who helped you figure it out. Write it down, and all the details, and take the paper with you. If you don't remember her name, call back again and ask who it was -- full name and everything.


Good luck!!
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


my heart is, actually, still fluttering. It's a good thing I'm tough.

you are so very dead right about judges, magistrates and lawfolks responding well to honesty and politeness. My dealings with them have nearly all been from the wrong side, and yet I've still always been treated well, and even made friends with some policefolk, because they knew that even when they were arresting me I would be polite and not be swearing, struggling and heaping abuse on them. There have been a few occasions when I should technically have been arrested and wasn't, because if they see you as a nice, decent person they'll cut you a break if they can.

I should have got her name, damn it. I didn't. She did say she was adding a note to the computer record to explain what had happened. I'm not sure I can face phoning again now. I'm all trembly.

From: [identity profile] kiss-kass.livejournal.com


You really should phone again, if for no other reason than to thank the lady for being so nice and helpful. And get her name.

You've already done the hard part, calling once. This part is a cakewalk.

From: [identity profile] rottnpagan.livejournal.com


What were you arrested for? I'm totally getting a new picture of you in my head. :P

Why didn't you tell me this before you married me??
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


It was such a whirlwind e-romance! I got carried away!

...um. It's all in the past now, but I had some bad years. As in homeless junkie with a prison record bad years. I've been very, very lucky. I could have died so many times over, I could have got AIDS... as it is, I got away with missing teeth, a few scars, needle phobia and an inability to sleep or breathe in rooms with closed windows.
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


oh yes. There's a god that looks after idiots, truly.

...in fact, my dog saved my life. I doubt I'd have pulled myself out of it for my own sake. The reason I sought treatment and stuck with it was that Scampi (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Lizblackdog/scampi.jpg) got too old to live on the streets any longer. He was sixteen when that pic was taken - I was clean and I'd moved back into my mother's by the time he turned seventeen.
wychwood: Max thinks you confused him with someone who cared (B5 - Max confused)

From: [personal profile] wychwood


*boggles*

Good grief! Good for you on ringing up about it and being all calm, though, I think I'd have had trouble...

I hope this does get sorted out easily. It's obviously an administrative problem, not your fault, so it ought (one hopes) to be quite simple. And maybe they'll let you off, that would be good.

*crosses fingers anyway*
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


I did babble inanely down the phone for a minute or two, but I didn't do too badly. I am quite proud of myself!

I'd love for them to let me off. Even three quid a week is going to bite, especially when I've just acquired another mewling mouth to feed. The really important thing is not being arrested and spending the weekend in a police cell, though, and at least I've managed to prevent that.
il_mio_capitano: (Default)

From: [personal profile] il_mio_capitano


Well done you! I think I'd have panicked a couple of days and then finally plucked up the courage to tackle them. So good on you for being the Grown-Up. :-)
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


Interesting. I could never have done that - it's either tackle it RIGHT NOW or completely avoid the issue and do nothing at all until they kick down my door. And I've already had my quota of being arrested for this lifetime, so I went with option one.

From: [identity profile] cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com


Yay!! The new improved Liz ROCKS!!

What a royal pain in the ass though. Hopefully, you'll not have to pay it.
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


I probably will, but if it can be deducted from my social security at source at a small amount per week it won't hurt TOO much.

I'm still pissed off though. I had no reason to believe I hadn't already paid it off that way five years ago!

From: [identity profile] james-the-evil1.livejournal.com


YAY for dealing with it!
I've had two experiences like this.
I got a letter a few years ago from a city several hundreds of miles away stating that I owed them an outrageous sum for an unpaid parking ticket from the late 1980s! They were computerizing all their past due tickets and finally got 'round to contacting me almost TWENTY YEARS later. The catch was, at the time the ticket occured I'd never BEEN there, and the description of the car was no behicle I'd ever owned. Took a bit of hassle & a few registered letters to prove it & get them to stop threatening to boot my car.
On another occasion back in the 90's, I got a letter from the state that my driver's license had been suspended for allowing my insurance to lapse. The star date of the suspension was 2 WEEKS prior to the post date of the letter. I'd never dropped insurance, but a few years earlier I'd changed companies & one of them had reported I simply cancelled. I went down to the relevant office with the notice (and the enevelope with the late post mark) and proof my insurance had never lapsed. I asked about the delay & was told they're so far behind on paperwork for that sort of case that they often don't NOTICE there's something to do anything about for 5+ years, and it's not uncommon for them to never even BOTHER to send notices. Which means if you get stopped, you get arrested & don't even know why. The real kicker was that my proof didn't mean anything. I was told that I'd have to go before a judge and it would be 4-6 weeks (with only 2 left on the suspension) before I could see one to even ask for temporary permission to drive to work & back, much less present my case. And even then I'd have to pay a reinstament fee.
What a mess.
The one thing I will say is if they WON'T forgive the fine (and they should!) you need to be CERTAIN they aren't charging you "additional interest and penalties" for the last few years, since it's THEIR fault.
And much as I know you hate Grimmauld Place, if you can't leave the critters home when you go may I suggest you spend the night there the night before to make sure you don't get delayed in the morning??
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From: [identity profile] lizblackdog.livejournal.com


No need for that, the court appointment's at 2pm. Even I should be able to make that on time!
.

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