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This started as a comment to someone else's entry about a long-distance internet-based relationship, and I liked writing it so much I decided to post it on its own.
Not every relationship becomes living together happily ever after, but that doesn't mean it's failed. One of the most satisfying, joyous relationships I have is with a man 4151 miles away, who I'm 99% certain I'll never meet in the flesh as long as I live and who I communicate with roughly every three or four months. He'll appear online, we'll have a day (several if I'm lucky) of intense online interaction and then he vanishes again. It's been like this for more than two years now.
I've had a few spells of regret and pain at the gap between us, but eventually I settled into it and accepted it as part of the way things are. We hit each other's lives like comets at intervals, brighten up the sky and then move out of each other's orbits again. It became better when I stopped angsting about the absences and simply gloried in the presences and got on with my life in the times between them - and in fact, that's the basic pattern of all my best relationships now. I'm like rich dark chocolate ice cream, you'd get sick of me fast if you had me for every meal. I'd rather be looked forward to as a treat.
He won't see this entry, but the fanciful side of me likes to think he'll hear me thinking of him. Or perhaps this was all inspired by me hearing him thinking of me?
..in other news, am exchanging emails with a man who saw my profile at the naked sauna website. I've made it clear that I'm out of the swing of that sort of thing for the time being, but I won't be dogsitterless and hip-deep in kittens forever. Like the comet, the other side of me will come around again sooner or later, and it'll be useful to have some contacts - I don't want a repeat of the time I turned up looking for action and there wasn't anyone else there. Rawr!
and in other other news, Cassie is having one of her Siamese days, walking round the flat yelling her head off and only shutting up when her belly is rubbed. Why did I ever imagine any cat of mine would be any less noisy, annoying, demanding and in my face than my dogs?
Not every relationship becomes living together happily ever after, but that doesn't mean it's failed. One of the most satisfying, joyous relationships I have is with a man 4151 miles away, who I'm 99% certain I'll never meet in the flesh as long as I live and who I communicate with roughly every three or four months. He'll appear online, we'll have a day (several if I'm lucky) of intense online interaction and then he vanishes again. It's been like this for more than two years now.
I've had a few spells of regret and pain at the gap between us, but eventually I settled into it and accepted it as part of the way things are. We hit each other's lives like comets at intervals, brighten up the sky and then move out of each other's orbits again. It became better when I stopped angsting about the absences and simply gloried in the presences and got on with my life in the times between them - and in fact, that's the basic pattern of all my best relationships now. I'm like rich dark chocolate ice cream, you'd get sick of me fast if you had me for every meal. I'd rather be looked forward to as a treat.
He won't see this entry, but the fanciful side of me likes to think he'll hear me thinking of him. Or perhaps this was all inspired by me hearing him thinking of me?
..in other news, am exchanging emails with a man who saw my profile at the naked sauna website. I've made it clear that I'm out of the swing of that sort of thing for the time being, but I won't be dogsitterless and hip-deep in kittens forever. Like the comet, the other side of me will come around again sooner or later, and it'll be useful to have some contacts - I don't want a repeat of the time I turned up looking for action and there wasn't anyone else there. Rawr!
and in other other news, Cassie is having one of her Siamese days, walking round the flat yelling her head off and only shutting up when her belly is rubbed. Why did I ever imagine any cat of mine would be any less noisy, annoying, demanding and in my face than my dogs?
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By the same token, I have a terrible long-term crush on a guy up in Chicago* that I barely speak to because his life is so jam-packed full of adventures. Those rare moments I hear from him make me smile. This isn't to say I've never had a failed long-term relationship.
Jason and I were together on and off for two years before I moved to Colorado to live with him. Horrible failure that, not that I regret it. I can honestly say I took the chance, even when I knew it was going nowhere, simply to have the adventure.
* I ought to write about my crush. It'd totally embarass him, I'm sure.
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If you don't regret Jason then it wasn't a failure; it just wasn't meant to be permanent.
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I've always hated defining myself as anything. I could call myself polyamorous, I could probably call myself pagan, but I don't because I prefer the absence of definition and delineation. I am less and less inclined to call myself bisexual these days as well, 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000+
oops, kitten j2011111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
on keyboard!
*moves kitten to lap*
say hello to Shona, she's pwning the Interwebs again.
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...
Gosh. Are you serious? :P
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She's at it again now. Mowww! Mowww! Mowww! Even Spike's stopped caring.
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Anyway, I'm glad to hear you can appreciate the time you two have together without the angst and crap. That's an important thing. And who's to say what kind of friendships people are allowed to have or what they can label them?
And I'm sure he hears you thinking of him :)