Hello, darkness, my old friend

[lizblackdog]

so I felt almost normal for ...nearly several days before deathtired drowned me again. most of the last couple of months I've had a kind of deathtired at half-mast. It lifts enough for me to do a few things, clean a little, write a little, but never enough to catch up with the fucking backlog and the drop hurts more every time.

The most frustrating thing is not being able to work out what triggers it. Cutting grains out of my diet seemed to help some, or at least stopped me feeling simultaneously starved and nauseous all day. Pushing myself to the (wildly variable) limit of what I can do on any given day sometimes energises me and sometimes knocks me flat for days and I can't seem to find a pattern there either.

meanwhile, my dogs are going crazy with underexercise and I'm suffocating under filth and unkept promises and more important things than my own fucking inner workings I should be worrying about. I think I would sell my soul to make this stop.

Comments

[yesididit.livejournal.com]

dude, its like you're in my head saying my thoughts. well ok not the tail thing.

how are you supposed to know and respect your limits when they keep changing!??! how do you know if it'll be good for you to push yourself and take the dogs for a walk, or when pushing would be badbadbad and its time to give the dogs a bone or toy?