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Urgh. Not a good night. Mr and Mrs Noisy Drunk had noisy friends over all evening. These friends brought their dog with them. Said dog is a big male bully breed - either a very big pit bull, or an American bulldog, something along those lines. I've never had a close enough look at him to be certain, but he's a big fawn-coloured dog with a square head. I don't know if he still has his balls, but I'd be willing to bet actual money that he does, especially since he marked the walls in the hallway last time he was here and I had to make with the antiseptic wipes and the Death Glare to stop Spike doing the same.
Now, Spike isn't actually dog-aggressive, but he is very, very reactive, very sensitive, somewhat territorial and (despite being neutered) a swaggering macho brute. Oh, and he's also a GREAT BIG DRAMA QUEEN. So the evening went something like this:
Spike: (hears other dog scrabbling outside in hallway. Hackles go to Ridgeback mode.) INTRUDER ALERT! SHIELDS UP! READY PHASERS!!!
Happy Squarehead Dog: Ooooh, ANOTHER DOG! (sniffs, scratches and whines at our door)
Spike: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!! (barks hysterically)
Squish: (hides)
Me: Spike, your reaction is not logical. (drags Spike away from front door and shuts both dogs in living room)
Spike: (paces round living room with hackles up making small growly noises and eventually settles down)
The worst part was the visitors with the dog kept going out and coming back in again - either he's got a very weak bladder or, more likely, they kept running out of booze and having to head out to One Stop. I wasn't prepared for this, so after a couple of hours of peace and quiet, I opened the living room door again. I don't like having it shut, and Spike is a ridiculously sensitive light sleeper and can't relax properly unless he sleeps out in the hallway by himself. Besides, they'd gone.
You can see where this is going, can't you?
An hour after I open the living room door:
Happy Squarehead Dog: (returning with owners to Noisy Drunks' flat) Ooooh, perhaps I can play with those other dogs now! (scratches at our door)
Spike: YOU KLINGON BASTARD! YOU'RE IN MY HALLWAY!!!!! (flings self at door barking hysterically)
Squish: Oh no, not again... (hides)
Me: Spike, I.. AM... TIRED... OF... THIS! (drags Spike away from front door and shuts living room door again)
Spike: Sorry, Ma. I'm a guard dog, not a diplomat.
THE END.
Except it wasn't quite the end. I believe I've mentioned that emotional upset and drama always gives Squish the runs? That, and he managed to find a piece of discarded buttered toast while we were out playing ball yesterday afternoon that I wasn't quite fast enough to take away before he swallowed it. He usually has no trouble waking me up if he needs to go out urgently, but this time he didn't manage it - either it happened too fast or he was too scared to make a noise when he was shut in the living room with an unusually grouchy Spike, I don't know. But I stepped in it when I woke up.
Lovely.
Now, Spike isn't actually dog-aggressive, but he is very, very reactive, very sensitive, somewhat territorial and (despite being neutered) a swaggering macho brute. Oh, and he's also a GREAT BIG DRAMA QUEEN. So the evening went something like this:
Spike: (hears other dog scrabbling outside in hallway. Hackles go to Ridgeback mode.) INTRUDER ALERT! SHIELDS UP! READY PHASERS!!!
Happy Squarehead Dog: Ooooh, ANOTHER DOG! (sniffs, scratches and whines at our door)
Spike: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!! (barks hysterically)
Squish: (hides)
Me: Spike, your reaction is not logical. (drags Spike away from front door and shuts both dogs in living room)
Spike: (paces round living room with hackles up making small growly noises and eventually settles down)
The worst part was the visitors with the dog kept going out and coming back in again - either he's got a very weak bladder or, more likely, they kept running out of booze and having to head out to One Stop. I wasn't prepared for this, so after a couple of hours of peace and quiet, I opened the living room door again. I don't like having it shut, and Spike is a ridiculously sensitive light sleeper and can't relax properly unless he sleeps out in the hallway by himself. Besides, they'd gone.
You can see where this is going, can't you?
An hour after I open the living room door:
Happy Squarehead Dog: (returning with owners to Noisy Drunks' flat) Ooooh, perhaps I can play with those other dogs now! (scratches at our door)
Spike: YOU KLINGON BASTARD! YOU'RE IN MY HALLWAY!!!!! (flings self at door barking hysterically)
Squish: Oh no, not again... (hides)
Me: Spike, I.. AM... TIRED... OF... THIS! (drags Spike away from front door and shuts living room door again)
Spike: Sorry, Ma. I'm a guard dog, not a diplomat.
THE END.
Except it wasn't quite the end. I believe I've mentioned that emotional upset and drama always gives Squish the runs? That, and he managed to find a piece of discarded buttered toast while we were out playing ball yesterday afternoon that I wasn't quite fast enough to take away before he swallowed it. He usually has no trouble waking me up if he needs to go out urgently, but this time he didn't manage it - either it happened too fast or he was too scared to make a noise when he was shut in the living room with an unusually grouchy Spike, I don't know. But I stepped in it when I woke up.
Lovely.
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