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Furious, frustrated and restlessly pacing the inside of my skull. New adventures, new friends, a new BBS, but good as it is (and it is damn good) all it does is bring home to me how alone I am, how small the confines of my physical life are.
However, I've tried to do something about it. I registered at OKCupid ages ago, basically for the fun of doing the daft quizzes and to see if anyone interesting tried to get in touch - well I had a few messages, but they were all a. lame and b. from people hundreds of miles away. And I really have all the long-distance relationships I can handle right now. I'd have to be pretty bloody impressed with someone to add them to the collection at this stage of the game.
So I've been getting proactive. I did a search for local single males and messaged the only three that weren't illiterate, teenaged and/or knuckle-draggers. None of them have written back. It's early days, of course, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm under some sort of complex curse - fated forever only to be attractive at a distance of over 100 miles?
There's always the munch on Tuesday, of course. Kev appears to have lost interest, he hasn't been in touch since the night with the clothespegs; luckily, I was too depressed and caught up in my own panic and angst to care much. I only care now because I badly need to be fucked. There's a good and a bad side to picking people up at BDSM events - on the one hand, they're more open, more accomplished and they tend to come with references. On the other hand, I'm a lot more focussed on sex than BDSM per se - I do love to be tied down or restrained (which Kev never really did, although I told him more than once that was my biggest turn on - grrr!) and I do enjoy the pain, but I find I'm not that big on the whole power exchange/submission bit. And sometimes I just want to be fucked without all the toys and the performance, y'know?
Case in point - there's someone who comes to the Munches I'm rather attracted to, and I'm giving some thought to letting him know it. However, looking at his profile on one of the kinky sites, I find he's into medical play, needles, and scat play - um, er, ick. Some of his kinks do crossmatch with mine but a lot of them really don't. I dunno.
I'm not going to post a link to our new BBS. It arose as a spinoff from the TrekBBS thread mentioned in this post, and it was created to be a small safe space for filthy minded people to share their filthy thoughts and pictures with no holds barred. Membership is controlled and mostly by invitation only. However, if there's anyone on my friendslist who hasn't been invited and would like to be, make yourself known to me.
However, I've tried to do something about it. I registered at OKCupid ages ago, basically for the fun of doing the daft quizzes and to see if anyone interesting tried to get in touch - well I had a few messages, but they were all a. lame and b. from people hundreds of miles away. And I really have all the long-distance relationships I can handle right now. I'd have to be pretty bloody impressed with someone to add them to the collection at this stage of the game.
So I've been getting proactive. I did a search for local single males and messaged the only three that weren't illiterate, teenaged and/or knuckle-draggers. None of them have written back. It's early days, of course, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm under some sort of complex curse - fated forever only to be attractive at a distance of over 100 miles?
There's always the munch on Tuesday, of course. Kev appears to have lost interest, he hasn't been in touch since the night with the clothespegs; luckily, I was too depressed and caught up in my own panic and angst to care much. I only care now because I badly need to be fucked. There's a good and a bad side to picking people up at BDSM events - on the one hand, they're more open, more accomplished and they tend to come with references. On the other hand, I'm a lot more focussed on sex than BDSM per se - I do love to be tied down or restrained (which Kev never really did, although I told him more than once that was my biggest turn on - grrr!) and I do enjoy the pain, but I find I'm not that big on the whole power exchange/submission bit. And sometimes I just want to be fucked without all the toys and the performance, y'know?
Case in point - there's someone who comes to the Munches I'm rather attracted to, and I'm giving some thought to letting him know it. However, looking at his profile on one of the kinky sites, I find he's into medical play, needles, and scat play - um, er, ick. Some of his kinks do crossmatch with mine but a lot of them really don't. I dunno.
I'm not going to post a link to our new BBS. It arose as a spinoff from the TrekBBS thread mentioned in this post, and it was created to be a small safe space for filthy minded people to share their filthy thoughts and pictures with no holds barred. Membership is controlled and mostly by invitation only. However, if there's anyone on my friendslist who hasn't been invited and would like to be, make yourself known to me.
