High above the ground

[lizblackdog]

It says something about how fortunate - or perhaps merely optimistic - I am when the only thing capable of moving me to vicious rantage is the arseholes who don't pick up after their dogs. It's especially annoying when they use the same dog walking routes as I do, because I know my dogs are far more attractive and memorable and conspicuous than theirs - meaning that unless I pick up after their stinking unfortunate malnourished curs myself, people are going to jump to the conclusion that I'm the disgusting bastard leaving a trail of shit everywhere I go.

I did have a vindicating moment last week when I witnessed a couple with a Shih-Tzu in flagrante delicto. I gave them my very best Winn Adami smile and asked them with excruciating politeness if they needed a plastic bag. I watched gleefully as the miserable worms discovered under my relentless burning gaze that, oh my, what a surprise, they did have one after all. I didn't shift my eyes or my smile until the pavement was clean. It was glorious.

Autumn is getting into its stride here, and since our street is lined with beautiful mature oak trees, we are inundated with grey squirrels. They sit on fences and chatter at us, they flaunt their tails from the tops of fences and they play chicken in front of us while poor Spike is reduced to a frothing predatory frenzy. He's getting much better at climbing trees, and since he can now get six or eight feet up a branchless trunk without much effort, I'm getting good at catching him in my arms on the way down. Every trip round the block to have a pee has become a mixture of obstacle course, suburban safari and rock star tour: "Hey, that's the amazing tree-climbing dog, isn't it? Wow! Can I have his autograph?"

I only let him climb the ones I know he can't get too far up, and those only if the ground underneath is springy turf - although part of me longs to see how well he'd manage a really climbable tree, the only way he knows to get down is falling out - and although he lands on his feet as well as any cat, I haven't forgotten that it's my job to stop him biting off more than he can chew. It still attracts a lot of attention.


In other news, the rest of my head space is entirely taken up with the collaboration - also known as The Fanfic That Ate My Brain. When captain_lila shows up I shall beg her for permission to show you her Klingon stories - read those, and read my Brinkmanship, and if you don't see why I'm all moist and breathless with this particular creative process I'll damn you for an anhedonic minion of soulless orthodoxy, so I will.

Getting back to it now...