Black Doggerel

Just encountered Idiotina McStupidfolk and her pack of loose dogs again. Brindle Puppything decided not to wait for Spike to bark at her this time, and piled straight in. Idiotina's three children dragged her away while I dragged Spike in the other direction, and Idiotina glared at me, did nothing useful and said nothing, even though the kids apologised. Their no-doubt various fathers must have been a good influence on them, because they're actually a decent bunch of kids - far more than I can say for their brood sow.

What is it, fucking Stupid Day? I already did one rant!

Dear arsehole chavscum backyard breeder neighbours,

Thank you so much for thoughtfully providing me with such a great opportunity to teach my dogs to remain silent and relatively calm in the face of what sounds like the dog version of Spinal Tap. You with the mastiff - you must be especially proud. His amps go to eleven - I can see why you wouldn't want to let him indoors making that noise, tee fucking hee! You with the sweet red and white Pittie pup - wow, she has a good set of lungs on her, doesn't she? She's going to make great puppies for you in six months time when she has her first heat. You with the little terrier mix - aww, that's so cute the way she starts up every time there's a lull and sets the whole fucking pack off again!

*stab kill stab kill die die die stab kill GIVE ME SOME FUCKING EARPLUGS*




P.S. MUCH love and meatballs to Spike, Squish, Yellow-Dog Buster and the two JRTs downstairs. Not a fucking peep out of any of them!

x-posted to dot_pet_snark

I AM SURROUNDED BY TEH STUPID.

Remember the idiots with the dogpile and the inability to work out what a leash is for?

Well, I just ran into Puppything on the lam while walking my dogs (fortunately I saw it before Spike did). Being the good neighbour I am, I nipped home to put my dogs away and nipped back out with a leash to take Puppything home. I'm not the only good neighbour round here, because I got back out there just in time to see my friend Mo, the owner of Spike's mini-Border Collie girlfriend Ella, had beat me to it and returned Puppything home already.

Ella's owner has lived across the road from The Idiot Family for some time (and has returned their continually-straying dogs more often than I have) and she was even more ranty about their pet-owning habits than I was.

Turns out they're backyard breeders. Why am I not surprised? Apparently, their last dog was kept only long enough to breed and sell a litter of puppies before they gave her away. Puppything appears to be destined for the same fate - I hadn't realised she was even female (I guess Spike never got close enough to check, because he wouldn't have barked at her if he'd known that) but she's in season already. She's less than a year old. I'm taking bets with myself whether they're going to mate her deliberately - but it's probably academic. Their dogs escape three or four times a week anyway. If their Jack Russells haven't already gotten to her it's a dead cert that something will.

It gets better. They used to have rabbits too. The rabbits had babies - as they tend to do if you don't speuter or separate them. (Who'da THUNK it??)

Guess what they did when they couldn't cope with the rabbit explosion? They set the whole lot of them loose.

Yes, I did hear this second-hand, but I did see a loose rabbit two or three times near the hollow oak tree on Woodbury Avenue back when I first moved here. Of course, this is prime suburban fox country round here, so at least the poor creatures probably had a quick death and benefited some other animal - but still...

bloody hell. like i wasn't already stressed enough, we just got attacked by four loose dogs on our evening walk.

no one's hurt but Spike's back hair is still standing on end.

( Cut for blow-by-blow account and rant about idiot dog owners )

*headdesk*

*edit: apparently not male. I still haven't looked for myself, mind.