Black Doggerel

1. i aten't dead.

2. sore throat, swollen glands in my neck, a lowgrade headache that's persisted so long I've started to treat it like a regular body part, palpitations, nausea, chronic fatigue on top of my normal chronic-fatigue baseline to the point where walking the dogs round the block needs psyching myself up for as if I were sailing round the world singlehanded on a reed fucking raft. and often a nap afterwards. wtf, body. also my ability to think clearly is intermittent and shortlived. Flowers for Algernon r us.

three weeks-ish and counting. i've told myself i'm calling the doctor monday. everything about this scenario - starting with the having to telephone people and going on into all the possible crap like blood samples, repeat appointments, whatever might be necessary to fix it - makes shooting myself now feel like the saner and pleasanter option by far.

3. Spike had a UTI which is now fixed yay. After talking to vet about foreleg-licking I'm trying him on painkillers. Almost immediately the licking stopped and he's got a bounce back in his step that he'd been losing so very gradually I hadn't noticed it waning. This is not as depressing as it would have been if I weren't still riding the dodged-a-cancer-bullet high, but it's still fucking depressing.

4. finally remembered to plug the battery recharger in so i can at least take photos. m'not kidding, i've had that on my to do list for weeks. all it needed was to flip a fucking switch and it took three weeks to get round to it. what is this i don't even.

Back from vet. Spike's lump was a cyst with icky blacky-green stuff in it. Vet popped it w/a needle and squoze it and gave him an antibiotic jab to prevent infection. Big purple bruise there now. Spike's skin v. thin there. He didn't even notice the needles & squeezing, hardass that he is.

Thank you very very much, everyone who wished him well. You helped a lot.

There was a Mastiff and a Staffie in the waiting room, and there was a Rottie in the car park, and he didn't bark at them. I have a command now that means "don't bark at this strange big dog". I turn my head away from the big dog and say "Walk away" in a happy calm voice. He can't always control himself well enough to obey it, especially if he's already wound up, but he does, now, understand what I mean by it and he's improved a lot.

He still has one big problem with other dogs though - German Shepherds. He was on the wrong end of some territorial aggression that took him by surprise two years ago. We were walking in front of someone's house and they opened the door and the GSD shot out and attacked him. Understandable from the GSD's POV - we were right outside his front door - but from Spike's POV we were minding our own business on a public pavement we used every day. He considered it an unprovoked attack and ever since then he's believed that all GSDs are dangerous psychopaths that need exterminating. And one arrived in the waiting room while I was at the reception desk. It wasn't pretty and I hurt my arm hustling Spike outside.

We had to take Squish with us, too. Squish will stay at home or at Mum's house happily enough if Spike or another human is with him, but he loses it if he's completely alone. He wasn't very happy about being in the waiting room without Spike either, but he only yowled at Mum a bit. Not too bad.

Phew. Exhausted from all Spike's hysterics.

Oh, and I have my London coach ticket, yay!!!

Oops. I realised yesterday that Spike's vet appointment clashed with my physiotherapist appointment today. I'm so glad the physio has dogs, she was quite happy to reschedule.

This seems to be "I really need a TARDIS" week: also found out that Bifest clashes with UK TrekBBS Meet V: The Spam Frontier - which means topbit won't be at one and I won't be at the other, which is a bit sad, although it might be fun to bring the two groups together sometime after picking the last shreds of flesh off the crispy duck. We'll see how everyone feels and what the logistics are like on the day.

Changed my userinfo slightly. It never felt quite right having a Garak quote up there. The new one is a little more me. Go read it.

..talking of a little more me, anyone who hasn't voted for me in The Great TrekBBS Boob-Off Poll, go do it now. I think you may have to be a registered member, but most of you would enjoy being registered members anyway. My ego can't take losing this one!

Bad arm day today, which means it's going to be great fun restraining the Evil Bugger at the vet's. Sod physiotherapy, I think my idea of just gnawing it off was the right one...

I just found a lump on Spike's right inner thigh while I was giving him a belly rub. It's very small, hardish and moves around under the skin. Vet's appointment on Friday afternoon.

I know, rationally, that it's more likely to be something minor and harmless than not, but please send any good thoughts you can spare. The thought of anything happening to Spike leaves me unstrung.

( My beautiful Evil Bugger x 3 )