Black Doggerel

Dear Squish,

You know, the singing dog routine rather loses its cute value when I've had to delete a quarter of my playlist because of your excessive musical reactivity. No Ramones, no Nick Lowe, no Led Zep, lose anything with saxophones or a "woo-woo" chorus, lose all my Big Finish Seventh Doctor audio dramas (fortunately it's only the Sylvester McCoy version of the Who theme that sets him off). Also, Spike has picked up the habit and now sometimes starts howling even before Squish notices one of his tunes is playing. It's actually impossible to remove everything that makes him howl, because every week he latches onto one or two new sounds, often things he's been hearing for years without so much as a squeak.

You missed your vocation, my Squishhead. You should have been a hearing dog for the deaf; you would have shone at that, and a deaf person would have been immune to your special powers of sonic annoyance, your earbleeding whine, glass-shattering sudden yaps and that very special sound you make when you see a fox - I've never actually heard a pig being skinned alive, you understand, but thanks to Squish I don't need to try too hard to imagine what it must sound like.

You annoy the crap out of me, you little spotted groove machine. I love you.

Good things about living alone with two dogs - I can have a bath at 3am if I want to.


Bad things about living alone with two dogs - one of Squish's Songs To Howl With comes up on the shuffle while I'm in the bath and I can't go and switch songs because I'm all wet and naked and foamy and the gimpy knee makes getting out of the bath something I'm extremely unwilling to attempt twice.

I'm not completely stupid, BTW - most of his known trigger songs are off my playlist. But Squishy's passion for music is a fluid, evolving thing. Some songs just make him howl very softly, some only make him howl sometimes, and some he suddenly starts howling to after years of silent listening. The spotted maestro doesn't like to perform until he's sure he's got all the key changes straight in his head. But his timing is always impeccable.

Squishy Ramone!

And Spike, who was apparently tired of Squish being the centre of attention.


Dedicated to glamourdog as always!

Squish: Rock 'n' Roll Animal

Please note special guest collie backing vocal!

It's marvellous how much happiness simple things can bring - having my camera back is one example. Squish is another, bless his simple spotted socks.

Squish's long-distance girlfriend glamourdog has had some problems lately, and is languishing in a highly unfashionable e-collar - so he hopes this will help cheer her up:

Squish Sings for Tink

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