Black Doggerel

Lately, all my dreams have a common theme; someone holding me, loving me. The dream characters are often implied sexual partners in the dream, but these are not sex dreams, merely dreams in which there's someone in my life who holds and hugs and loves me.

I miss that. I don't, I truly don't, want to be part of a couple. I don't want to live with someone, I can't deal with the expectations and obligations that sort of relationship carries. I'd fail miserably if I tried. But the thing the dreams are telling me is that I could really do with someone to be in my corner, that way. That I want someone around that I matter to enough that they'd hug me.

I know people who are reading this care about me in varying degrees. You know it isn't the same, and in any case none of you are here. I don't know what to do about it.

Getting out more would probably be a start. *sigh*