Twenty degrees of solitude

[lizblackdog]

so this afternoon two Bournemouth Council workmen knocked on my door to tell me they're coming to refit my bathroom next week.

I am grateful, truly I am. All I do is live here and out of the blue, people come and say NEW BATHROOM FOR YOU! It's not going to cost me anything. I might even be lucky enough to get a shower out of it, and I want a shower like burning.

except this: AUGH I HAVE TO CLEAR EVERYTHING OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND THERE ARE NO SPOONS.
AUGH THERE WILL BE STRANGERS IN MY HOME FOR AN UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME AUGH.
AUGH THIS IS MY TOILET THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT DO THEY KNOW I NEED TO PEE EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES?
AUGH MY HOME IS A SHITHOLE AND THERE ARE NO SPOONS AND THEY WILL BE JUDGING ME AUGH. I KNOW I'M SICK AND MY DOCTOR KNOWS I'M SICK BUT THEY'LL JUST SEE A LAZY FAT BITCH MAKING EXCUSES AND THEY WILL JUDGE ME SILENTLY AND HARD. AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. DO NOT WANT.

Comments

[taichara]

Yup, this was us -- the freaking about the invasion and the time and the judging at least -- last year when they did the windows. And then just before Xmas when they were doing the hall carpets.

Believe me, I understand.

Here, have a Tiger butt as an amusing distraction for a tic ~

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

*flail*

tigerbutt <3

[taichara]

Tiger Eye is comedy gold <3

[yesididit.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

do what you can with the bathroom. if you cant get everything cleared out that needs to be, they will help. if you have any empty boxes or maybe empty laundry baskets, or even trash bags, they're fully capable of transferring items from your bathroom to said containers. it may not be pretty or organized, but it'll do.

when the people came to blow insulation into my walls, i suddenly had to clear EVERYTHING away from the outer walls of my entire house. i was not prepared for that, nor could i safely move some furniture by myself. they had a crew of very efficient and very helpful people who moved all the furniture while i sat out in the porch keeping the dogs occupied. nosey dogs are nosey and very skilled at getting in the way. while molly didnt care for the noise, she was interested in the people. puppy wanted desperately to follow them all around and check out all their equipment and get in their way. so they were more than happy to have me be busy occupying the dogs.

try to remember that its what they do for a living. that they routinely work with disabled people. they have encountered unprepared rooms before and have packed up/cleared out rooms before. the crew i encountered was extremely polite, and when finished and moving the furniture back, even asked if they'd gotten it right. they never did anything to make me feel like the hoarder i still felt like. i had piles of papers everywhere, hell, i just had piles of everything everywhere.

i was mortified to have people in my house seeing my mess like that, and having to MOVE my mess out of their way! i had huge anxiety about strangers being in my home. i did not know that it would take most of the damn day to complete, so i was unprepared for spending the entire day out in the porch. the longer it took, the more paranoid and anxious i got. i wanted to crawl into my bed and hide from the world, but my bed was propped upright against the inner wall and there were strangers in my bedroom and yeah, it was bad. by the time they left i was in a terrible state and left facing an enormous mess. i deeply regretted having it done at that moment. but despite all my turmoil in my head, the crew at least was professional, polite, courteous, and helpful. there were no snide looks or nasty comments about the filthy state i was living in. they were even polite and friendly with my dogs.

i'd suggest trying to mentally prepare yourself as much as you can, and worry about the mess later. try to find out how long they expect to be working on your bathroom. will it be fully and completely finished in one day? how many hours? how long exactly will you be without toilet access? trust me when i say that they understand they will be cutting you off from your toilet and that its a huge inconvenience. most bathroom projects are planned around keeping the toilet functional for as long as possible and restoring it as quickly as possible. are you friendly with any of your neighbors who may be home while this is taking place? could you explain that your bathroom is being repaired and ask if you could use their toilet if necessary during that time? do you have any anti-anxiety medication you could take for that day? like an ativan or xanax or whatnot?

your priorities are taking care of yourself and your dogs first and foremost. i suggest you do whatever you can to prepare yourself for strangers being in your home, for toilet access being temporary out of order, and for all the arguments in your head. THEN worry about clearing out the bathroom. and if there are no spoons left for that, apologize, smile, and hand them some boxes or bags.

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

thank you so much for this <3

[huntingdon.livejournal.com]

They're council workmen. They will have seen bathrooms like the local sewer farm. All they're concerned about is meeting their refit time deadline and moving on. And maybe a free cup of tea with 7 sugars

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

LOL. Usually they politely decline tea after they see the state of my kitchen.

I know you're right. I'm still massively selfconscious about it all.

[orac-zen.livejournal.com]

I'm still massively selfconscious about it all.

Don't be. As the others have said, people in these sorts of jobs have seen everything. You're Liz. You can get through this.

Oh, and pfftt to the self-absorbed thing, too.

[il_mio_capitano]

If they don't want the tea then that solves the spoon part of the problem right there.

It's a new bathroom. Hang on to the positives.

[ulva.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh when I read this. But it is true. Our home isn't a catastrophe and I immediately get very calm when I think about the state our neighbour's flat is in, but never the less, it's not fun to have strangers roaming about at home. And the bathroom too... I totally get why you feel this way.

And it made me laugh. Bonus!