Black Doggerel

so I set my alarm for 6am this morning, in order to be washed, awake and ready for the Bathroom Ripping-Out Guys at 8am like they told me to be. And I didn't sleep through it or switch it off in a half-daze, and I was fucking well ready.

BUT THERE ARE NO BATHROOM GUYS. THE BATHROOM IS A LIE. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO DO MINE TILL FUCKING WEDNESDAY.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

so this afternoon two Bournemouth Council workmen knocked on my door to tell me they're coming to refit my bathroom next week.

I am grateful, truly I am. All I do is live here and out of the blue, people come and say NEW BATHROOM FOR YOU! It's not going to cost me anything. I might even be lucky enough to get a shower out of it, and I want a shower like burning.

except this: AUGH I HAVE TO CLEAR EVERYTHING OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND THERE ARE NO SPOONS.
AUGH THERE WILL BE STRANGERS IN MY HOME FOR AN UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME AUGH.
AUGH THIS IS MY TOILET THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT DO THEY KNOW I NEED TO PEE EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES?
AUGH MY HOME IS A SHITHOLE AND THERE ARE NO SPOONS AND THEY WILL BE JUDGING ME AUGH. I KNOW I'M SICK AND MY DOCTOR KNOWS I'M SICK BUT THEY'LL JUST SEE A LAZY FAT BITCH MAKING EXCUSES AND THEY WILL JUDGE ME SILENTLY AND HARD. AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. DO NOT WANT.