This is no time to start snapping any loud twigs.

[lizblackdog]

So my actual problem is this. I need to fill in a form explaining in detail why I disagree with the Department of Work and Pensions over the results of a recent medical examination. I know pretty much exactly what I want to say, since the DWP were thoughtful enough to include a point-by-point list of all the places where the medical examiner either made up answers to questions he completely neglected to ask me or ticked boxes that directly contradicted what I did tell him.

The trouble I'm having with it is that every time I try to DO it my throat closes up and my heart starts pounding to the point where I have to go and lie down till I can see straight again. Also I appear not to own a functional pen, which I'm aware ought not, for any reasonable person, to be any level of real problem.

I've got through the last few days using my old tried and tested tactic of pretending it's not happening. This never works for long.

Word of the day: Suicidal ideation. It's not in me to kill myself; I know this beyond all doubt. So I find myself not telling people how attractive the idea seems so much of the time, because I don't want to worry them over something I know I'm not going to do.

For anyone who's read this far, yes, I am VERY well aware that half my f-list is coping far better with far worse trouble. I'm just... people keep asking me how I am. People seem to want to know. Well, there it is.

Comments

[lizblackdog.livejournal.com]

i think this is a side-effect of teh DWP wanting to get as many people as they can off incapacity benefit and onto jobseekers' allowance. I've breezed through every medical exam for the last seven years and theer was NO reason this one should have been any different, except that this time they were clearly trying for a particular result.

I'm a bit scared of the CAB, they turned out to be SO useless back when John and I were trying to get help with a... what's the word for it. Constructive dismissal. Tribunal.

getting my own doctor to help is a possible very good idea though. They didn't even contact him and I know he'll back me up. He's gotten me through more crap than anyone else has and he's AWESOME.