Squish dog found a whole unopened pack of buffet pork pies on our 11pm dog walk and I maliciously stopped him eating them. WOE IS SQUISH.
Squish dog found a whole unopened pack of buffet pork pies on our 11pm dog walk and I maliciously stopped him eating them. WOE IS SQUISH.
So I got sick of the current bout of insomnia and fought back. Took half a melatonin, somewhat against my better judgement. Fell asleep at 3am. Woke up with Spike bouncing on my chest and barking in my face at 3 fucking pm. This would be why I don't take these things very often. I still feel like I've got a bag over my head, but I guess I made up for some of the sleep deficit.
Fucking Spike knocked a box of mini double choc chip muffins off the table and Squish ate two-thirds of them while I was in the toilet. There's not enough chocolate in that to worry about poisoning a dog his size (he's stolen chocolate before and I know he's not all that sensitive to it) but I bet it's enough to give him the shits. Also I was really fucking looking forward to those muffins. Bastard dogs.
Fucking Spike knocked a box of mini double choc chip muffins off the table and Squish ate two-thirds of them while I was in the toilet. There's not enough chocolate in that to worry about poisoning a dog his size (he's stolen chocolate before and I know he's not all that sensitive to it) but I bet it's enough to give him the shits. Also I was really fucking looking forward to those muffins. Bastard dogs.
So I got sick of the current bout of insomnia and fought back. Took half a melatonin, somewhat against my better judgement. Fell asleep at 3am. Woke up with Spike bouncing on my chest and barking in my face at 3 fucking pm. This would be why I don't take these things very often. I still feel like I've got a bag over my head, but I guess I made up for some of the sleep deficit.
Fucking Spike knocked a box of mini double choc chip muffins off the table and Squish ate two-thirds of them while I was in the toilet. There's not enough chocolate in that to worry about poisoning a dog his size (he's stolen chocolate before and I know he's not all that sensitive to it) but I bet it's enough to give him the shits. Also I was really fucking looking forward to those muffins. Bastard dogs.
Fucking Spike knocked a box of mini double choc chip muffins off the table and Squish ate two-thirds of them while I was in the toilet. There's not enough chocolate in that to worry about poisoning a dog his size (he's stolen chocolate before and I know he's not all that sensitive to it) but I bet it's enough to give him the shits. Also I was really fucking looking forward to those muffins. Bastard dogs.
Aha. Found the plastic tub, with licked-looking traces of mince in it, on the kitchen floor hidden under the mop.
Aha. Found the plastic tub, with licked-looking traces of mince in it, on the kitchen floor hidden under the mop.
So last night I set aside half a pound of chicken-and-tripe mince in a plastic tub for the dogs' breakfast. So far so normal; except this morning I couldn't find it anywhere. It should have been in the fridge - it's not, nor is it anywhere in the utility room, the kitchen, the cat room or even the bathroom.
The dogs couldn't find it either, but I think Squish may know more than he's telling. I hope so, because I'd really hate to find the damn thing days, weeks or months from now. I have no idea how I came to leave it in his reach or anywhere but the fridge - and no, I was not stoned. My current working theory: eddies in the Vortex causing small localised instabilities in the fabric of reality. Probably accounts for the computer issues as well.
In other news, I started reading The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, which I picked up for 99p in a charity shop a little while back. I can't say much about it yet, except I'm hooked on the strength of the first three pages. They can be read via that Amazon link - have a look. I think this one's a keeper.
The dogs couldn't find it either, but I think Squish may know more than he's telling. I hope so, because I'd really hate to find the damn thing days, weeks or months from now. I have no idea how I came to leave it in his reach or anywhere but the fridge - and no, I was not stoned. My current working theory: eddies in the Vortex causing small localised instabilities in the fabric of reality. Probably accounts for the computer issues as well.
In other news, I started reading The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, which I picked up for 99p in a charity shop a little while back. I can't say much about it yet, except I'm hooked on the strength of the first three pages. They can be read via that Amazon link - have a look. I think this one's a keeper.
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So last night I set aside half a pound of chicken-and-tripe mince in a plastic tub for the dogs' breakfast. So far so normal; except this morning I couldn't find it anywhere. It should have been in the fridge - it's not, nor is it anywhere in the utility room, the kitchen, the cat room or even the bathroom.
The dogs couldn't find it either, but I think Squish may know more than he's telling. I hope so, because I'd really hate to find the damn thing days, weeks or months from now. I have no idea how I came to leave it in his reach or anywhere but the fridge - and no, I was not stoned. My current working theory: eddies in the Vortex causing small localised instabilities in the fabric of reality. Probably accounts for the computer issues as well.
In other news, I started reading The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, which I picked up for 99p in a charity shop a little while back. I can't say much about it yet, except I'm hooked on the strength of the first three pages. They can be read via that Amazon link - have a look. I think this one's a keeper.
The dogs couldn't find it either, but I think Squish may know more than he's telling. I hope so, because I'd really hate to find the damn thing days, weeks or months from now. I have no idea how I came to leave it in his reach or anywhere but the fridge - and no, I was not stoned. My current working theory: eddies in the Vortex causing small localised instabilities in the fabric of reality. Probably accounts for the computer issues as well.
In other news, I started reading The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, which I picked up for 99p in a charity shop a little while back. I can't say much about it yet, except I'm hooked on the strength of the first three pages. They can be read via that Amazon link - have a look. I think this one's a keeper.
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Note to self: do not take your eyes off the dogs after handing out supper. I don't know for certain, but I have a nasty feeling Squish just ate both dogs' food.
Not blaming Squish. Blaming me for forgetting that my collie is a fucking freak who will walk away from uneaten food if he finds something suddenly interesting. Once I've shut the cats away there isn't usually anything else he's liable to be quite THAT distracted by, but still. Freak.
Not blaming Squish. Blaming me for forgetting that my collie is a fucking freak who will walk away from uneaten food if he finds something suddenly interesting. Once I've shut the cats away there isn't usually anything else he's liable to be quite THAT distracted by, but still. Freak.
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Note to self: do not take your eyes off the dogs after handing out supper. I don't know for certain, but I have a nasty feeling Squish just ate both dogs' food.
Not blaming Squish. Blaming me for forgetting that my collie is a fucking freak who will walk away from uneaten food if he finds something suddenly interesting. Once I've shut the cats away there isn't usually anything else he's liable to be quite THAT distracted by, but still. Freak.
Not blaming Squish. Blaming me for forgetting that my collie is a fucking freak who will walk away from uneaten food if he finds something suddenly interesting. Once I've shut the cats away there isn't usually anything else he's liable to be quite THAT distracted by, but still. Freak.
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