Black Doggerel

dear f-list - what kind of paid work do you know of that can be done online?

I am just trying to look at possibilities.

Oh holy fucking shit, my father's coming here. To England. In less than two weeks.

...It's not that I don't love him. I do love him. It's not even that I don't want to see him. I do. But I haven't seen him in nearly twenty years, and we never got on very well when we were on the same continent. And... well, it's complicated.

It also means I have to clean. Like really clean. In two fucking weeks. And that isn't even why I'm going into panic tailspin meltdown here.

...Like I said, it's complicated.

*flail*

...Spike and Squish and I just spent the night on the floor in the communal hallway. Because I'm a fucking idiot.

Mum went to hospital yesterday with pericarditis. That's not why I slept in the hallway. Except it kinda sorta is. I slept in the hallway because when I had to walk over to Mum's house yesterday to feed her cat, I didn't take my dogs with me. Maisie isn't used to them any more and would have been a bit freaked, especially without Mum there.

But I took my keys off Spike's leash to go to Mum's house. And when I took the dogs for a last pee at midnight, I forgot I hadn't put the keys back on his leash. And I locked my fool self out.

According to the man from the Council that let me in this morning, their emergency number for idiot tenants with key issues is manned 24/7. So I could, in theory, have got let back in last night. But I didn't know that, and besides, I had to wait for a neighbour to be awake enough to answer a knock at the door and kind enough to look up the number and make the call for me.

Note to self: Give spare key to downstairs neighbour. I never want this to happen again.

Primary master disk: hard disk failure. Charlotte appears to be partially dead and cannot boot because Windows and everything is on that drive. I'm not even letting myself think about all that data.

fuckfuckfuckfuckityfuck.

amazingly, I can still get onto the internet, because ages ago topbit left me a CDROM with Knoppix on it, hoping to get me into Linux. I fiddled with it a little but, on the principle that if it's not broken you don't fuck with it, I preferred to stick with the familiar. I'm not a technology or computer geek; I don't adopt something like that just because it's shiny.

however, here it is getting me online when all else has failed. of course, I have very little idea how to use it or what the hell to do next, but at least I can get online so you can all see me panic and flail around.

what the hell to do?

EEEEEEEEEK KITTEN DRAMA!

was just sleepily surfing my f-list when disturbed by horrible screams from the bedroom. Kitten shrieking in pain and fear, Cassie yowling in a panic, Spike frantic. I go in and find that Shona the Pirate has trapped her paw in the window.

the windows are on a catch so they can open about an inch and a half; the kittens can't fall out so they had to invent another way of causing drama. It turned out to be easy to free her, I just had to slide her paw in the opposite direction to the one she was pulling it.

she's favouring the paw now but nothing feels damaged. we'll see how she goes but I believe she'll be fine.

I suspect this is just the first of many attempts to get my hair to turn white...


EDIT: Two hours later, she's not limping. Phew.

Fucking hell, my mother's cat is trying to kill me.

( More whining. More angst. Believe me, I know this is getting tedious. )

just had a call from sister E. she can't take Maisie for another two weeks. She's going away again. How nice for her.


oh fuck.

Mum update: jaundice and possible gallstones. Hospital have got her on a drip. I'm off in a minute to collect her clean underwear etc from Grimmauld Place, feed the cat and go see her. Might stay the night at Grimmauld Place, if only because I don't have the energy to keep walking there and back.

edit: I wish to fuck Spike's new harness had arrived. It's a fucking nightmare walking him to Grimmauld Place on a flat collar. I have a choice between running the leash under his front leg (which annoys both of us) or having him half-choke himself every time he lunges. which is every few minutes.

just had a call from Mum - she went to the doctor this morning. Her words: "I was sick and tired of feeling so crappy and decided to do something about about it". My sisters and I have been telling her to go for two weeks now.

Doctor took one look at her and whisked her straight to hospital. I'm very glad he did that. Her trouble is that whenever she has the flu or a bad cold she can't eat or keep food down. She's been living on the odd half-can of soup and the odd pot of yogurt since she got the flu and she'd gotten to the point where she felt like she'd break if I squeezed her. At least in hospital they can get some sort of nutrition into her.

Of course, stopping eating didn't mean she'd stop drinking, so she's been steadily making herself sicker. She did stop drinking a couple of days ago, though - you know why? BECAUSE HER EYEBALLS TURNED YELLOW.

Sister T is frantic, naturally enough. And in my quiet non-frantic way - so am I. T. phoned the hospital and they won't have anything to tell us before late afternoon.