Black Doggerel

I came back from walking dogs and ran into my downstairs neighbour with his greyhound coming in at the same time. He's usually a successful former drunk, but tonight he was staggering, raving pissed as forty newts in a barrel of scumble. He'd lost his phone and lost (or spent) all his money, but he was still clutching two fresh raw beef bones he'd picked up for his dog.

I like this man. But I really wish that he'd happened to have three beef bones, or that he hadn't handed one of them to Spike in the hallway. I've left Spike with it because I haven't had the opportunity to pick them up any new beef bones for a while and because he has the attention span of a goldfish; I know he'll get distracted off it really soon and there'll be plenty left for Squish.

But right now while I'm writing this, MAJOR SQUISHY WOE. SPIKE HAS THE BONE THAT CLEARLY SHOULD RIGHTFULLY BE HIS. I gave him extra cheese but it's not the SAME. Honestly, if you could see him you'd tear up.

ETA: last walk of the night, two hours later after both dogs have had some QUALITY BONE TIME. I saw them tensing up and giving each other the stink eye in the hallway as both of them remembered at the same time that BONE was lying there by itself, just waiting for the quickest dog off the mark to claim it. I unlocked the flat door and, carefully ambidextrous, unharnessed both of them perfectly simultaneously.

They scrabbled, snarled and snarked at top speed to the living room. Spike won, of course; Squish is only faster over distances greater than 200 yards. MORE WOE!

Luckily, Spike only wanted to win to remind Squish that he's Batman; he was kinda bored with BONE by this point anyway so he smirked and gave it over after a couple of minutes.

I love my dogs.

My special bird dog found me a bird :D

It was a fledgling blackbird, huddled in a little ball on the pavement on our late dog walk down Woodbury Avenue. Spike and I both missed it entirely.

It was almost fledged, strong and uninjured, so I didn't mess with it except to pick it up and move it about two feet from where Squish found it, so that it was in a hedge on the safer side of a garden fence instead of on the actual pavement. Good luck, bird.

...two people in party clothes were ringing my neighbours' doorbell just as we were leaving. HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY.

I have new neighbours and they SUCK.

Weekend before last, around elevenish; I was trying to go to sleep, when I hear a very drunk woman in the hallway banging on their flat door and demanding to be let in, and someone inside yelling NO. This went on for two hours with her variously screeching in the hallway, outside in front of the flats ringing everyone's doorbell and screeching, and throwing things at their window and him inside turning his dance music up REALLY LOUD to drown her out.

There seem to be about eighteen people in that damn flat half the time, and none of them understand the concept of indoor voices at all. Last weekend I think they were actually having a party, but it was hard to tell because their normal noise level's about the same as your average windows-open, thumpy music you can hear halfway down the fucking street party anyway.

Few days ago, I'm taking dogs out and Squish starts eating something random outside on the front lawn. And I realise that the entire grassy bit out front is strewn with rubbish and crap that, by its pattern on the ground, has all been lobbed out of one upstairs window. Luckily, there was another neighbour outside in front of the building, and I was able to have a loud swearfilled rant about the scattered rubbish right underneath New Arsehole Neighbours' open window. Passive aggression FTW.

Tonight, it is 1am and someone is visiting them with a very excitable barky dog. Okay, MY dog is pretty fucking barky and excitable himself, but he LIVES HERE and when some fucking random strange dog starts barking in his hallway in the middle of the fucking night I DO NOT FUCKING WELL BLAME HIM.

So I shut the living room door to keep the dogs in here with me and keep the fucking peace. It feels claustrophobic and irritating and it makes Spike twitchy and nervous. I heaved a sigh of relief when I heard the loud voices and car door slammage outside, but although SOMEONE (and I think the dog) has driven the fuck away, when I opened the living room door there was a loud shouty argument happening out in the hallway that wound Spike up almost as much as the fucking dog did. So we're all shut in again.

URGE TO KILL. RISING.

when you say to someone, "I feel your pain", I suspect most of us don't always mean it that literally. Empathy and imagination and compassion are marvellous things.

My downstairs neighbour's wife died recently. I say recently; I think it's been several months now, actually. Though believe me, that counts as recent.

It's still very hard for me to talk to him, to spend time with it. I do understand why death makes other people run away and avoid you. They don't know what to say, they know nothing they say can make it not have happened or make it hurt less. I also know why we need to try and not do that.

You lose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand with nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks
They really found you.

So I've been spending time with him, like old veterans comparing war stories. I know it's helping him. But holy fucking shit, it's hard. I wish I could be enough of a coward to avoid him completely and not care, or brave enough to spend enough time with him not to feel guilty about all the lonely hours I'm not talking to him.

And yes, I know I've been a bit shut down and incommunicado with everyone lately. I feel guilty about that too, especially for some of you that are going through shit. And that this entry is disjointed, possibly unclear and a bit of a downer.

But eh, that's life for you.

So it's (nearly) 4am, and I'm happily minding my own business watching Doctor Who online with a friend.

( Shit happens )

WHAT THE SHIT.

park romp = so much fun today! There's a little Italian Greyhound called Aisha that lives in one of the big houses backing onto the park, and she and her Chihuahua housemate were out playing ball. The moment we appeared Aisha came racing up to us to say hello - Squish had a small social anxiety moment and hackled and yapped at her. He always does this with strange dogs, but as long as Spike is okay about the other dog he gets over it and makes friends. We've met Aisha before and they've conversed through her garden fence, but they don't know each other all that well.

So they all played and raced around fetching balls. Spike doesn't actually play with other dogs when he has a ball because BALL ARE SRS BSNSS but Aisha raced around chasing him with her ball in her mouth while he fetched his, and he chased her when she fetched hers - he's nearly as fast as she is, which is a bit astonishing.

She is spectacularly beautiful and adorable, all huge eyes and impossibly dainty little legs, cream-coloured with a bit of blue and dark-brown brindle over her flanks and backside. Watching her run was glorious. We all had a total blast.

Spike had a brief lapse of manners when Aisha's owner threw her ball and it hit a tree. Aisha overshot and kept going but Shark Dog, of course, had his eyes on the prize. I had to pretend I was going to throw it for him and then substitute his own; he didn't object too hard though. He knew he was in the wrong. I love positive contact with other dogs. I love my dogs.

Ran into Shiny-Headed Neighbour while coming back from a dogwalk just now. He ran into my mother in the hallway when she came to visit during Blogathon (thank you Mum!) and he was massively taken with her, as is everyone who ever meets her. So naturally, he had to tell me all about it.

SHN: "Oh! I met your Mum! She's really nice, isn't she!"

Me: "Yep. I think so."

SHN: "And so attractive! Blimey, she's really attractive. I'd never have believed she was your Mum!"

Me: (deadpan) "Yeah, that sort of thing usually skips a generation."

SHN: (oblivious) "Yeah! That's true! She's so great!"

Be proud of me. I waited till I was back upstairs to pee myself laughing and mock him on the Internet. XD

Well, I just blew off a possible forever home for Saffron Cat by refusing to let her go without a home visit. The couple were friends of Downstairs Neighbour Couple - she was OK about a visit but the boyfriend apparently wasn't.

I'd ask you to reassure me that I did the right thing, except I know I did. I'm sure the couple were fine. Nothing I heard gave me any red flags. But these lives are in my hands and I can't decide their future on someone else's bare words.

Why the fuck is some sludge-brained shitstain setting off fucking fireworks now? Not only is it not New Year for another three fucking days, it's NOT EVEN FUCKING DARK YET, YOU FESTERING CHRONOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED MENTAL MICROBE.

I hope you trip over your own dragging knuckles and land arse first on a rocket that blows your brains out. Because that's clearly where you keep them.

Not a single quark's worth of love,

Your fairly close neighbour, her hysterical shaking collie who's hiding in the bathroom, and her GSP who needs a pee but can't have one till you've finished your fucking artillery attack reenactment. Because I can't leave Spike alone in this state and I certainly can't take him out. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!