Black Doggerel

Spike does not like dogs. Chico of the neighbouring Shih Tzu Crew doesn't like dogs either. Chico is a great big hardass dog in a tiny cute fuzzy dog suit; he has attitude, arrogance and charm than can knock you over at twenty paces.

He and Spike are totally BFF. It is awesome.

( Meet the Shih Tzu Crew )

Things being forty has taught me so far:

1. Never wear a skirt slit up the back when you're walking an excitable Collie who thinks it's funny to tug at the hem of your skirt for attention.

2. If you do, you should consider wearing underpants.

*RRRRRRRRRRRIP*

OMG NEKKID ARSE and the owner of the Shih Tzu Crew getting an eyeful he wasn't expecting!

Ooooops.

Ran into Spike's buddy Chico and the Shih Tzu Crew on our morning walk. I knew from conversations with the owners that they had cats as well. I did not know that one of their cats occasionally accompanies them on walks. If I'd known that I certainly wouldn't have unleashed Spike.

I hope she can get down from that tree all right.

Met up with Spike's buddy Chico and the shih-tzu crew this morning - fun fun fun! Spike doesn't have many dog friends but Chico's a special case. You'd know why if you saw him - head and tail held high in an arrogant arch, walks with a confident swagger, master of all he surveys. Squish plays with Chico's packmates but doesn't go near Chico - he and Spike are the Alpha Male Club, and although there's not a single testicle between the lot of them you can get dizzy from the virtual testosterone in the air.

Thankfully, no-one felt the need for an actual pissing contest this time.


About half an hour after we got back there was a kitten bouncing round the floor and there seemed to be something missing - there wasn't a collie locked onto it. I checked the hallway - no collie. Spike was having one of his cat-in-a-dog-suit moments and he'd decided to play hide and seek with me.

He's a bit too big to carry it off successfully, but I actually had a minute of WTF??? before I spotted him.

( This is not the collie you are looking for. )

Ha. Spike may have just met his match. We were in the foresty green bit behind the houses where I took the rope toy pictures; me and the Monochrome Marauders and a neighbour with his three Shih Tzus. I let Spike loose because he and the Tzus are quite fond of each other and he had a riotously good romp.

Then he peed on their owner's foot and down his trouser leg. I did mention that my dog is an arsehole, didn't I? He's not exactly in the habit of peeing on people but it's not the first time either. Don't you just want to sink into the ground when that happens?

Want to know the best part? The ringleader of the Shih Tzus, a beige and white male with an attitude the size of a planet, peed on my foot two minutes later. No wonder he and Spike get on so well.

In other good news, I also let Squish off to play with the Tzus. And did he come back when I asked him to? He did. *happy dance*


ETA: Yahoo is frelled and I can't access my email, so I may not spot comments that I want to reply to until it gets its shit together. Just so ya know.