Black Doggerel

so yesterday afternoon, I am playing a particularly vigorous, cathartic tug game with Mr Evil Sharkbastard Collie, and he nails me a beauty across the back of the hand. There's a tendon that runs from the back of your middle finger over your knuckle and into your hand; he got me right on that. His teeth are blunt and Spike injuries are crush/bash ones rather than pointy, but the skin across my knuckle is split. Not bitten open, just split from hitting the tooth. Spent two hours holding an icepack on it, which is probably the only reason I can still type. Ow.

So then I take them out again in the evening, as I do. Spike is feeling all bumptious because I am refusing to play tug with him. We're on the little green patch outside the flats, and he sees a plastic bottle that we had a spontaneous fetch game with yesterday. He lunges, grabs it, and starts bouncing up and down around my legs by way of suggesting another game. I probably would have gone for it if he hadn't tripped me. I came down like a ton of bricks on the asphalt path and had to spend half the night with more icepacks on both knees and elbows. Still limping a bit today.

I love my dog, but ow.

ow ow ow owwwwww.

dog leash misadventure sprained my left pinkie a while back.

it was almost better. it was just slightly twingey. then today, we were at big park. i was just leashing mine back up after their run when a girl on a bicycle with a collie came past.

all the dogs behaved, really. this was no one's fault. spike did not bark, girl's collie stayed trotting behind bike with no deviation. squish didn't go nuts. he just sort of... darted briefly in the collie's general direction. he didn't dart far. it was just that his leash - that i was in the middle of clipping on - was between my ring & pinkie fingers. so my pinkie got wrenched in a direction it was not designed to wrench. on top of the not-quite-healed last injury.

i screamed like a little girl. my whole hand hurts so much. it's twice normal size. i have it on ice and am taking diclofenac.

i am very aware that a lot of people i know have way bigger, way more painful, way more serious shite going on. so much so that i have no real right to whine. i love you guys and i'm sorry.

but i'm still gonna whine. it hurrrrrrrts!

blergh. Jumped by an offleash beagle while dogwalking. I say "jumped", in fact beagle was perfectly friendly, but my dogs were on-leash and therefore Spike threw one of his THROW THAT THING OUT THE AIRLOCK meltdowns, during which he managed to catch my left pinkie finger in a leashloop. I think he may have sprained it. It hurts like fuck, is twice normal size and can only just move.

happy happy joy joy.


eta: 1900, barely dark, and I hear distant pyrotechnics already. what the fuck is it with people? Gave Spike a pill.

Nightmares last night. Anxiety attack today. Bastard collie lunged at the leash in a tuggy attempt last night and nailed me in the leg instead. Hurts like fuck. My microwave has spontaneously dropped dead, my flat looks like it was attacked by evil space monkeys armed with soiled cat litter and rotting vegetables. I am not having a good day. Naamah Noisycat goes to the vet today for her pre-spay check-up, finally. I'll be so glad when that's done. I just wish I could stay home and go back to bed today.

Morning dog walk: I'm standing by the door holding harnesses, leashes, poo bags, tuggy tucked under arm. This is where dogs are supposed to come and stand by the door to be leashed. This goes smoothly enough nearly all the time most of quite often ...um, when Spike's calm.

This morning he launched himself into a flying tackle at my head, pinned me against the wall and stole the tuggy from under my arm before I got near him with the harness. By the time we'd got halfway down Woodbury Avenue he'd got my arm and by the time we'd circled round to come home he'd got me in the tit. Shark Boy is back! I'm so pleased to see him.

I was reminded twice yesterday that I've not made an LJ entry for over a week. Well, I could make excuses - I'm saving myself for Blogathon at the weekend and Spike and his tuggy have done for one of my wrists - both of those would be true, but they're not the real reason. The real reason is that I'm caught in the grip of an obsession that isn't leaving much time, mental energy or typing strength over for anything else.

I'm sorry. I still love everyone. But it's so damn good.


Besides, you'll have more than your fill of me over the weekend. I'm slightly dreading the Blogathon, but I'm certainly not ducking out. And I take this opportunity to beg you, prettily and impassionedly (is that a word?) to sponsor me. Pleeeeeease!

Oh, and there was the new Harry Potter. I'm saving my typing strength, so if you want to know what I thought of it, go read toft_froggy's review here. Spoiler-heavy, obviously.

Other things that I am infatuated with right now: 1. Captain Tractor. (official band website with sound.) Particularly this track, which is this entry's soundtrack. I urge everyone to listen to them and buy their stuff. Also, if I get at least three more sponsors for Blogathon, I will make a voicepost of myself singing their best-known song, "The Last Saskatchewan Pirate". (Or, if you'd rather, you can bribe me not to. I win either way.)

2. Russell Crowe. Not only for the obvious reasons (sex on legs, snarky bastard, did not make a pig's ear of playing one of my favourite fictional characters ever) but for random acts of kindness and for ...reasons both too convoluted and too nerdy to explain in a public entry. Anyway, I luff him.

took dogs to park. was switching squish's leash from short to long; distracted by chatty passer-by. let go of short leash without loopin handle of longleash round wrist. was holding longleash... of course there had to be a cat at that very moment, didn't there?

squish runs fast. I have no hope of keeping grip on longleash. it sliced and burned through the fingers of right hand like acid razor ribbon. hence bad typing and short words.


squish lost sight of cat and stood in middle of park trying to see where it went. i callled and he came. squish = very good boy indeed.

damnfuckbuggerpiss my fucking hand hurts.

neopetters: THIS MEANS I CANNOT PLAY YOOYUBALL. this sucks kiko balls bigtime.

Edit: After several hours of intense pain whenever I took my hand off the icepack, it's died down to a slight tenderness and an impressive collection of blisters. I can type and use the mouse again. HOORAY!

Finally had my doctor's appointment about the knee today. The knee is actually not too bad right now - I can stay on my feet a good forty minutes without limping, although I can feel the instability in the stretchy bits round the kneecap (which I think is the anterior cruciate?), and I have to walk carefully. It's much better with Squish on the harness and long line - he has enough freedom of movement that he doesn't feel the need to jerk me off my feet. But it still needs looking at. My doctor's referred me to the orthopaedic department to get it looked at, MRI'd and - I dunno what they'll do next.

I shut the cats in the bedroom if I have to go out without the dogs. I trust my dogs absolutely not to harm my cats deliberately, but Spike is excitable and annoying, Squish is guardy and jealous, they're both a lot bigger than cats and I don't trust Murphy's Law. So they're only all together when I'm there to supervise.

So when Mum comes to pick me up, of course there's always one cat that hides under the couch. Spike goes all herdy and pins cat under couch, Squish gets all incensed because OMG YOU CANNOT COME NEAR MY COUCH, cat (Hamish on this occasion) gets freaked by all the dog commotion and won't come out from under the couch until I take the sofa cushion off and poke cat in the backside. Cat shoots into kitchen and I have to intercept him swiftly before the now thoroughly overexcited dogs drive him back under the couch. So of course I didn't notice Squish's bone falling off the couch (where it wasn't allowed to be in the first place) and I step on it, barefoot and with all my considerable weight. OW OW OW FUCKING OW. The sole of my foot is one great big magenta-and-indigo bruise, with a hole in the middle where the bone had a pointy bit, and now I'm limping on my other leg. Not. Happy.


Mum and I cheered ourselves up by shopping on Holdenhurst Road where the little foreign food shops are. Bought spare rib sauce and char sui sauce and prawn crackers and a litre bottle of light soy at the Asian food shop, and a big garlicky phallic kielbasa at the Eastern European food shop. I wish to hell we had some fun shops like that round here.

Saffron cat got spayed yesterday. Stitches are looking good and now that the grogginess has worn off, she's showing no sign of even knowing the incision's there. Three cats done, one to go!

Ow. Spike bites are usually crushing bruising injuries without breaking the skin, on account of his blunted teeth, but I guess he caught my thumb with one of the sharp edges. Bleeding like a very bleedy thing and hurts to type.

I wonder how many repetitions of "squeal like a scalded pig and immediately become very boring" it will actually take to get him to be a bit more fucking careful? Four years on, he's only marginally better than the obnoxious mouthy puppy I adopted. I look down at my hands and I can see physical evidence of four different tuggy errors just from the past week.

I love that dog so fucking much :D

In other news, my neighbours are smoking weed again and I am fighting the urge to go knock on the door and beg them for some. If I had any money left I might knock and ask to buy enough for a joint (I never want more than that anyway) but I won't ask people for something for nothing, even if I thought they'd say yes - especially if I thought they'd say yes. I have my pride.

...maybe I'll go lie on the floor in the hallway at the bottom of their door and just take deep breaths...